Premier League footballer in ‘behaving like a moron’ shock

During his spell at Southampton, and before he was actually famous, Peter Crouch was often to be found at a particular fast-food vendor in the centre of town, hunting nachos, his favoured delicacy at the time. Eye-witness accounts tell of the big man strolling in, ordering his nachos with the caveat that, being the Peter Crouch, he of course had no intention of paying for them.

The chap across the counter on the minimum wage just used to shrug and hand over his food but there was worse to come. Following each individual Nacho consumed, the lengthy striker would jubilantly cry, “Crouchy’s having his Nachos!”

Have you spotted a footballer behaving, well, like a footballer? Let us know below…

The players who didn’t earn their loyalty bonuses

As anyone who has ever divorced will testify, sometimes it is necessary to call time on a big commitment. Footballers who sign big money contracts are no strangers to this maxim, but some jump ship a little earlier than expected. With this in mind, Spoiler correspondent Ben Baker has compiled a top ten list of the shortest spells in football club history. And guess who tops the list…

Sol Campbell
After a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance at Meadow Lane and a quick team photo, the man whom Spurs fans lovingly refer to as ‘Judas’ picked up his boots and walked out on his £40,000-a-week contract. If he manages to stay fit and win his war with his own metabolism, perhaps a fleeting appearance in the MLS lies ahead for football’s least decisive man..

Ali Dia
A favourite story among football fans who are less than supportive of Graeme Souness (and let’s be honest, there are a fair few): after allegedly receiving a call from former World Footballer of the Year George Weah ‘bigging up’ his ‘cousin’, Souness signed him up without reservation. He even had the audacity to replace Sir Tiss with him. Dia was so dreadful that he was hauled off, lasting about 20 minutes. Oh well, Southampton’s loss was Gateshead’s gain…kind of.

Dietmar Hamann
After it appeared that Hamann was surplus to

South coast legend admits to cheeky spread betting swindle

In the season when Wimbledon FC suffered more than their fair share of inexplicable floodlight failures, The Spoiler was puzzled to see the Dons put the ball out of play straight after kick off on more than one occasion. The reason behind this apparent waste of possession has become clear, thanks to Matthew Le Tissier’s (awfully-titled) autobiography ‘Taking Le Tiss‘.

In a 2-0 victory over Wimbledon in April 1995, The Southampton legend admits that he took advantage of the emerging trend of spread betting, by placing a wager on the time of the first throw-on. If he could get the ball out of play within the first minute of the game, Le Tiss and a friend stood to make £10,000. Unfortunately, a tubby journeyman striker thwarted his plan:

“Southampton were safe from relegation and I couldn’t see a problem with making a few quid on the first throw-in.

“I went to hit it out towards Neil Shipperley but I was nervous and didn’t give it quite enough welly.

The players who fell from grace but refused to quit

Such is their love of the game, a number of former Premier League stars have forged managerial careers in the ever-so-slightly less glamorous world of non-League football: Luton’s Mick Harford and Newport’s Dean Holdsworth are notable examples. Some however, are still plying their trade on the pitch in the lower echelons of the football pyramid.

Spoiler correspondent Russell Greaves brings us ten former top flight heroes who have swapped the international acclaim of the top flight for the bumpy pitches and humble attendances of the grass roots game…

Paolo Vernazza
(4 Premier League appearances for Arsenal)
Once a promising youngster at Arsenal, Paolo even got a run out in the Champions League, but has since worked his way down the leagues - way down. Having scored the winning goal against Coventry City in front of 37,000 fans at Highbury in 2000, the midfielder’s most recent goal was for Conference South giants Woking, and 2,000 people were fortunate enough to see it. A cautionary tale for the current crop of Arsenal youngsters. Credit where it’s due, though, his supporting lady is top-class.

Jason Lee
(69 Premier League appearances for Nottingham Forest)
If you recognise the name, it could be because he scored over one-hundred career league goals, but it’s more likely to be because he was relentlessly lampooned on Fantasy Football League. He’s now banging them in for Corby Town in the Conference North, minus the pineapple.

Alan Wright
(Over 300 Premier League appearances for Blackburn Rovers and Aston Villa)
Perhaps best remembered as the shortest player in the history of the Premier League (a pocket-sized 5’4’’), Alan Wright is now best known as the shortest player in the Blue Square North. Aston Villa once paid £1m for his services, but Fleetwood Town recently secured his signature without a fee and gave the 38-year-old his non-league debut in a 2-1 victory at Solihull Moors.

The art film star who turned a Saint into a sinner

The Spoiler has never seen pornographic material before (ahem) but our smutty friends at Unprofessional Foul lead us to believe that Eva Angelina is a hardcore American bongo actress.

She earns WAG status for her marriage to fellow grot actor Danny Mountain (it’s his real name, we’re assured), a Brit who won praise from Alan Ball while at Southampton, but who was forced to turn to the world of boffing people for money when injury ended his football career.

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Southampton strikers use post-pub snack as offensive weapon

Tiny Southampton striker Bradley Wright-Phillips got into a spot of bother last year when he and Nathan Dyer allegedly stole mobiles phones and cash from purses at a Portsmouth nightclub. Ian Wright’s boy could be in trouble once again after more high jinks on the town, according to his morning’s Sun newspaper:

Two soccer players are at the centre of a police probe over claims that a man was attacked and pelted with kebab meat.

Southampton strikers Bradley Wright-Phillips, 23, and 21-year-old David McGoldrick were allegedly involved in a 2am fight outside a pub.

Wtight-Phillips, half-brother of Manchester City star Shaun, had been out in Southampton with McGoldrick after a match was called off.

Police said a man of 21 had complained. Neither player was arrested.

Could this probe turn into Britain’s first kebab-throwing-based arrest? Will Bradley’s dad bollock him live on talkSPORT as much as he did after the handbag thing? Only time will tell…