Some fun and games from the Russian Premier League

While any pitch invaders in the Manchester derby were liable to receive the fist-based justice of Craig Bellamy, an encroaching fan in this week’s Moscow derby fulfilled a lifetime ambition.

Spartak Moscow were 1-0 down during their visit to fierce rivals Saturn Moscow Oblast when they were awarded a penalty. As Brazilian forward Alex was preparing to take the spot kick, an over zealous fan stole the limelight with his hilarious antics.

Undeterred by the distraction, Alex eventually took his turn and levelled the score, but his efforts were ultimately in vain as Saturn scored a winner three minutes later.

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Franck Ribery to Real Madrid
Our Spanish friends at AS today report that Florentino Perez has already agreed a five-year deal to bring the French midfielder to the Bernabeu next summer. The deal - which is awfully similar to the pre-contract arrangement that brought Cristiano Ronaldo to Spain - will be worth €25m. That’s around a quarter of Bayern Munich’s ridiculous valuation of the Bundesliga’s best player.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Throughout the summer we have said that Ribery will leave next year for Los Blancos, so it’s nice to see the Spanish newspaper backing us up with their (relatively unsubstantiated) report.

Roman Pavlyuchenko to Spartak Moscow
Despite his appearance in Tottenham’s B-team last night, and ‘Arry’s insistence that the club can keep him involved with a rotation policy, The Mirror report that the Russian could be sold back

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Roman Pavlyuchenko back to Spartak Moscow
Pavlyuchenko insists he is happy at Spurs, but in light of the fact that Tottenham have been linked to every player under the sun for the past few months, rumours that he no longer has a future at The Lane are growing. According to The Daily Mail, a source at the striker’s former club says he would be welcome back on loan.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Guus Hiddink would certainly like to see his Russian star getting more games, and he has made his opinion about English food and women very clear, but it all depends if ‘Arry brings in some new faces in the summer.

Joey Barton to Bolton
If The Spoiler was in charge, vile oxygen thief Joey Barton would never be allowed near

Spartak have a unique way of showing gratitude

Chelsea’s multi-million pound state-of-the-art training facility in Cobham is the envy of the Premier League. Once players obtain access to the opulent facility via finger print recognition technology, they may enjoy lush training pitches, artwork by prominent graffiti artist Temper and at the end of the day, they can grab a towel (not the pink one, that’s Lampsie’s) and relax in the sauna.

Ahead of Spartak Moscow’s clash with Tottenham tonight, Roman Abramovich has kindly offered use of the facility to the Russians. Striker Artur Maloyan, however, isn’t impressed with the two-bit operation the club are running in Surrey:

“At our grounds, they cook so much better,” he said. ” We saw Terry, Carvalho and Cole using the same canteen as us. Those guys must be pretty undemanding.

“The food they have is pretty frugal. And they sit on plastic chairs which are more suitable for outdoor BBQ parties, and even eat from disposable plates here.”

There are several reasons to doubt Maloyan’s account of Cobham: firstly, the Chinese Olympic football team praised the food when they stayed last year, and anyone who calls Ashley Cole “pretty undemanding” clearly doesn’t have a firm grasp on reality.

[The Telegraph]

Unsettled Russian had no say in £14m move

Casual racist Sergei Rebrov wasn’t the only one who didn’t want Roman Pavlyuchenko to move to London - according to his mummy Lyubov, the man himself never wanted to leave his home nation:

“Roman was sold by the club,” she said. “He didn’t want to go to England or leave Russia. It was 100 per cent Spartak Moscow’s decision to sell him.”

And reports in Russia suggest that CSKA president Yevgeni Giner has now called the 26-year-old to say he is welcome back at his former club should he wish to leave London.

Confident her son will be back on home soil sooner rather than later, Lyubov said: “I know for sure he’s ready to return to Russia anytime.”

The Telegraph claim that Pavlyuchenko was on the verge of signing for another Russian club (most likely Lokomotiv Moscow) when Spurs and their giant chequebook swooped in, and that he has failed to adapt to life in London.

Is this new found home sickness the reason for his ineffectiveness in the North London derby?

Redknapp’s plans to play the reserves might need altering

While all four still stand a strong chance of progressing, the Premier League’s UEFA Cup hopefuls Aston Villa, Portsmouth, Tottenham and Manchester City all drew interesting group stage opposition.

Harry Redknapp spoke about fielding reserves in some games but may rethink that policy when they clash with overwhelming tournament favourites AC Milan while Aston Villa will be challenged by Martin Jol’s Bundesliga table-toppers Hamburg and Marco van Basten’s Ajax.

Tottenham drew two teams whose star players they raided this summer - Luka Modric’s former side Dinamo Zagreb and Roman Pavlyuchenko’s old club Spartak Moscow while Manchester City will face off against Steve McClaren’s FC Twente in one of the toughest groups.

The good news for the Premier League representatives were that all four avoided Sevilla, Valencia and Standard Liege, who are three of the top four non-English clubs in the betting. The full draw is after the jump.

Berbatov replacement arrives at the Lane

The first big business on deadline day has seen Tottenham sign Spartak Moscow striker Roman Pavlyuchenko for £14 million, prompting speculation that Dimitar Berbatov’s move to Manchester United is imminent.

But if Berbatov is to go then Spurs will surely need more than just Darren Bent, who struggled in his first season, and the Russian forward, who will probably need a settling in period. Will Spurs be forced into making another purchase today, or settle for what they’ve got?

Let us know what you think with a comment below.

In Saturday’s fiercely-competitive Moscow derby between Spartak and Lokomotiv, a topless fan fancied a piece of the action. Spartak were 2-1 down at the time, and defender Radoslav Kováč decided to take the intruder out of play the only way he knew how.

For his assistance in removing the extra man from the field, Kováč received a yellow card. Frankly, he was lucky: a tackle from behind with no attempt to play the ball should really be a straight red.

[Marca]