If it were a plot, it’d be thickening…

As anyone who’s had a meaningful sexual relationship with a Spanish woman knows, family is very important. Or muy importante if you want to get all clever about it. Hence, might Cristiano’s sudden split from the hunky young woman he’s been holidaying with all summer suggest that Spain might not be on the agenda for 2008/2009?

After all, their love looked so sexy, dreamy and perfect - her giggling like a smitten schoolgirl as he performed a series of rude gestures at photographers, all that kissing and sunbathing on yachts, the bikinis. They were a match made in Heaven, crafted of God’s own hand, and when all the talk was of Real Madrid and £70 million, they appeared destined for a long and happy marriage - albeit one absolutely littered with affairs.

But can we now assume that Ronaldo is going nowhere, and that the promise of a rainy life under the off-white skies of gloomy Manchester proved far too depressing for the sensual young pair?

Or might Sir Alex Ferguson have done more of his notorious meddling?

Stay tuned.