UEFA have been playing with the crazy pots again

The good officials of the Champions League gathered around the trough in Monaco this afternoon, pausing briefly to pompously remove some plastic footballs from mixing bowls in one of their favourite little rituals.

As per, various pundits and sundry authorities were on hand to discuss the mouth-watering nature of the dance card, while those associated with the managerial side of things vowed not to underestimate anybody, as decreed by UEFA’s guidelines on how to talk to the press at times such as this.

Of the English teams, Liverpool probably feel the men in blazers could have looked harder to find them a couple of soft sides, but at least

The best sports on the telebox tonight

Eldrick Woods, known as ‘Tiger’ to friends and fans, is on such unstoppable form that he could conceivably win all four majors this summer. Main competitor Phil Mickelson has backed him on that one, and the folk at Paddy Power are so resigned to his Augusta victory that they are doing everything they can to make you bet against him (if you back Mickelson at 11/1, for example, and Woods wins by five or more shots, you’ll get your money back).

UEFA Cup quarter-final first leg
Sporting/ Rangers (ITV4, 7.45pm)

US Masters Golf
Augusta, Georgia, Day One (BBC2, 9pm)

The best sports on the telebox tonight

Yes, all the English teams have been dismissed from Europe’s least loves competition, but north of the border, hopes are very much alive for Rangers to make the UEFA Cup semi-finals. They are 11/10 favourites - not a bad punt considering they have lost just one game in the last 25.

UEFA Cup Quarter-final First Leg
Rangers/ Sporting (ITV4, 7.45pm)

Tennis
Miami ATP Masters (Sky Sports Xtra, 8pm)

Setanta Shield Final
Aldershot/ Rushden & Diamonds (Setanta Sports 1, 7.30pm)