Congolese star and Danny Cipriani look-alike get into trouble

Standard Liege stars Dieumerci Mbokani and Steven Defour were having the time of their lives at the funfair, right up until the former managed to jam his head under the safety harness. Bless.

[Off The Post]

Redknapp’s plans to play the reserves might need altering

While all four still stand a strong chance of progressing, the Premier League’s UEFA Cup hopefuls Aston Villa, Portsmouth, Tottenham and Manchester City all drew interesting group stage opposition.

Harry Redknapp spoke about fielding reserves in some games but may rethink that policy when they clash with overwhelming tournament favourites AC Milan while Aston Villa will be challenged by Martin Jol’s Bundesliga table-toppers Hamburg and Marco van Basten’s Ajax.

Tottenham drew two teams whose star players they raided this summer - Luka Modric’s former side Dinamo Zagreb and Roman Pavlyuchenko’s old club Spartak Moscow while Manchester City will face off against Steve McClaren’s FC Twente in one of the toughest groups.

The good news for the Premier League representatives were that all four avoided Sevilla, Valencia and Standard Liege, who are three of the top four non-English clubs in the betting. The full draw is after the jump.

This man stands between you and the goal…

The big UEFA Cup news is that Everton have drawn Standard Liege in the first round. That’s one tough draw. All made slightly less terrifying by the emergence of some pictures of the Belgian team’s enormous centre back, Oguchialu Jacob Onyewu - otherwise known as Gooch - and his lady friend, draping themselves around the house. Everton will, of course, respond to these taunts by sending over pictures of Yobo and Jagielka flower arranging at a church fair, or Lescott whispering secrets to a kitten.

For another take on things, head over to Kickette.

Another worrying picture after the jump…

UCL qualifiers, 8.05pm, BBC3 (Ars) and ITV1 (Liv), Free £30 bet

Former England manager and self-ordained Dutchman Schteve McClaren hasn’t had much luck in North London during his career, and that won’t change tonight. Meanwhile, the luck that has seen Liverpool claim maximum points in the league will continue when Standard Liege visit Anfield.

Read on for reasons why Arsene and Rafa will be celebrating tonight…

Five reasons why Arsenal will beat FC Twente

1. Last season Arsenal won the away leg of their Champions League qualifier with Sparta Prague 2-0 but they didn’t ease up in the second - winning 3-0.

2. Steve McClaren’s last trip to the Emirates while Middlesbrough boss saw him suffer a humiliating 7-0 defeat.

3. Arsenal have lost just one of their 56 home