Woman doesn’t need reflective strip to get noticed…

When people spoke of the future in olden times, their stories were cluttered with images of strange aerodynamic helmets, skin tight outfits fashioned from spandex, and zany metallic machines with wheels, handlebars, and a bell. What those prehistoric prophets didn’t realise was that what they were describing, almost exactly, was Victoria Pendleton, Great British cyclist.

Hailing from the shiny kingdom of Bedfordshire, Victoria is a champion track cyclist, and when she’s not going round and round in circles, she has been known to glam up for a sexy photo shoot or two. See the results after the jump…

If she were a fish, she’d have gills

Fans of the 1984 romantic comedy Splash (SPOILER ALERT: Tom Hanks becomes sexually attracted to a demi-fish) know just how sensual great swimmers can be. In that movie, the magnificent underwater flirt was Daryl Hannah, and in real life, it’s an Australian woman called Stephanie Rice - winner of the 400 metres individual medley at this year’s Olympics.

Aside from having just about every swimming badge you can imagine sewn onto her cozzie, Stephanie is recently single. Before the games she was going out with some chump called Eamon, but apparently they broke up about a month ago. Hence, she would definitely go out with you.

One more watery treat after the jump…

Girl scratches forehead with toe…

Seriously guys, don’t ever get into a fight with a gymnast. They might look all cutesy with their tight clothes and great posture, but these people are all muscle and rage. They breakfast on raw eggs, they lunch on raw steak, and they down vanilla Nurishment like it was water. Yet, even so, some of them are still gentle on the eye. Like, Alicia Sacramone for example.

The 20-year-old American can do all kinds of wild and crazy things, like walk on a beam, do somersaults on mats, and in the picture below she is defying all logic by bending her body around like it were made of a taut jelly. She’s already enjoyed a silver medal at this year’s Olympics.

More pictures of a woman stretching after the jump…

Her personal best is 55.38 metres…

Say what you like about God, but when it comes to balancing good and bad things he/she does a pretty decent job. For all the luxury we enjoy in Blighty, when it comes to hot female javelin throwers, we’re not doing too well (here’s proof). Likewise, while almost half of the population of Paraguay has to spend their every waking moment battling against crippling poverty, they get to send tremendous specimens like Leryn Franco to Beijing to throw javelins on their behalf.

Born in 1982, the slender young athlete isn’t just a strong right arm either, she’s also a very pretty face. She came second in Miss Paraguay in 2006 (losing out to this woman).

Photos of her not just lounging on a sofa after the jump…

Oh my god, they’re the same!

Ask any normal teenage boy to describe his ideal woman, and his bumbling description will be littered with specifics: a twin, blonde, Brazilian, bikini, around 19 or 20, synchronised swimmer. Which makes this discovery all the more amazing, because Bia and Branca are all those things and more. They are also Olympians… or, at least, they would have been had the good lord swung them a place in this year’s Brazilian swimming squad. They will, however, make the Olympics one day, The Spoiler is sure of it. Hence, we’ve deemed them worthy of inclusion.

Absolutely impossible to tell apart, both have the kind of taut angry bodies that old sea-dogs have been telling tales of for centuries, and when they’re submerged under gallons of chlorinated water, they can still move with the same grace as a professional not-underwater dancer. They are, in short, fantastic.

Enjoy more of them after the jump…

One for 2012, people

While we’re happy to live in the present, The Spoiler always has one eye open, glaring silently into the future. “Who will be the stars of tomorrow?” we whisper into our gins. And here’s one of the answers: Allison Stokke. She might not strictly be an Olympian right now, but damn it man, she will be one.

Allison’s specialty is the womanly art of pole vaulting, a sport which first came to prominence when a young royal had to leap over a hedge using a spear. It soon became a very popular playground game. As things stand, she’s one of the rising stars of US athletics, so expect to see her striding around London’s mini Olympic village come 2012.

And another one after the jump…

WARNING: This woman CAN throw

For those uninitiated into US culture, softball is their version of women’s cricket. Unlike cricket, however, it’s considered worthy of Olympic inclusion, and Jennie is the proud owner of a shiny gold medal from the last games in Athens.

Besides being a glorious golden haired pitcher, Jennie has much to be proud of. Namely, her appearance on the American celebrity version of The Apprentice, where she came face-to-face with one of the world’s most ungodly bastards, Donald Trump - he fired her in January. She also has an interesting and athletic body, deemed worthy of inclusion in Sports Illustrated.

Terrific woman.

More handsome photographs after the jump…

Proof that sturdy women can be sensual too

Some people find it hard to see the point of the long jump - there’s a big sprint, a sandpit, some weird running in the air stuff. Those people have obviously never had to leap over a beached whale on a Cornish holiday. No matter, because above and beyond any of that, Jade Johnson is the point of the long jump. Such a glorious athletic body would make any sport worthwhile.

Thus far in her long illustrious career, she has picked up silver medals in the European and Commonwealth Games (both 2002), and at the last Olympics in Athens, she let the entire country down by coming seventh. A consistent jumper of around 6.5 meters, she will need an almighty leap to make the medals this year.

But, seriously, who gives one? The women is a goddess. A really really muscular goddess.

Another shocking picture after the jump…