Arsenal’s former shotstopper isn’t making friends at his new club

When mercenary Manchester City forward Robinho decided the most befitting method of transport he could take to the training ground was a helicopter, he faced only the wrath of those who disliked his vulgar moneybags attitude. Former Arsenal and current Stuttgart whinger Jens Lehmann, however, has infuriated an entire Bavarian town over his insistence on taking a chopper to work:

Lehmann and his family recently moved to the picturesque town alongside Lake Starnberg, but the ex-German keeper is not making any friends among the new neighbours, thanks to his habit of taking a noisy helicopter to his training in Stuttgart, 250km away.

On August 21, for example, he climbed into the waiting helicopter at 11am, took off for training, and returned making a racket at 8pm. Now

If in doubt, use the tongue

As anyone who has ever lingered in a changing room after a football match already knows, the conversations are pretty racy. You start with a rundown of the game, then before you know it you’re exchanging sex tips and doing that thing with your towel where you whip naked men in a totally non-gay way. Pictured above is Jens Lehmann putting into action one of the priceless sex tips he picked up at the Arsenal. Probably from Henry or Ljungberg.

“Seriously, just show her your tongue, Jens - works every time.”

Stuttgart keeper is a bad loser

When you brush aside his arrogance, whinging and tendency to physically abuse fellow players and photographers, Jens Lehmann is a professional who accepts defeat in the manner expected of an experienced international player. Oh wait, that’s not true at all:

“The referee (Roberto Rosetti) was a catastrophe and sometimes I think it is fixed when I see such a referee, who is biased and not correct in his decisions.”

For example, A Spanish player (David Silva) head-butted our player (Lukas Podolski) and the referee saw it and the linesman saw it.”

In an interview screened in ITV’s highlights package last night, Lehmann essentially said that he didn’t care how he was punished for his outburst as he wouldn’t be playing in the Euros again. But he didn’t need to say a word: the look the grumpy German gave as the Spaniards went up to receive their winner’s medals (captured in glorious GIF format above) was absolutely priceless.

[Daily Mail]