The rain stays on the plane, but where do the tears go?

As his absurdly punishment-free existence trundles towards yet another revolting chapter, Ashley Cole can be found sunning himself in Spain with the kind lady he is slowly destroying - all as if he hasn’t a care in the world.

Bad enough that he prodded his nasty hamster-like fingers all over another woman’s contorted body before barfing, but he now appears to have been totally forgiven for the humiliation by his wife, Cheryl.