Take a good hard look at the mothef**kin’ boat

Just over a year ago, we showed you a sneaky spy shot of the M/Y Eclipse, the largest privately owned yacht in the world. Since then, its owner Roman Abramovich has lost around 40 per cent of his wealth and has been forced to cut back on staff expenses for his current fleet of superyachts, but the Chelsea owner is still expected to take delivery of the vessel in 2010.

Here’s a gentle reminder of some of the ridiculous features of the 550ft boat:

* A small hospital staffed by a private medical team
* Bulletproof glass, underwater cameras and a missile detection system
* Anti-bugging equipment windows have flash sensors to warn of paparazzi photographers
* Six guest suites and five VIP suites, all with bathrooms and balconies
* A large outdoor swimming pool for WAG Daria Zhukova to splash around in
* A gym, sauna, steam room, spa and several hot tubs.

… but not into Chelsea

One of the only Premier League club owners to suffer more than Mike Ashley during the current economic crisis is Roman Abramovich: reports suggest he has lost up to a third of his £15bn fortune. The Russian tycoon is clearly unfazed by his rapidly decreasing wealth, as he is all set to invest in a £60m Caribbean estate:

Chelsea’s owner, who is estimated to have lost two thirds of his £15billion fortune, has “fallen in love” with the two-acre plot on St Barts.

The idyllic spot boasts a deep-water mooring with enough space for his three superyachts.

Over Christmas, Abramovich anchored his ridiculously-named super-yacht ‘Ecstasea’ on the millionaire’s playground of St Barths, and it is said that he and 27-year-old model girlfriend Daria Zhukova fell in love it.

Economic downturn takes its toll on Chelsea owner

Back in April, Roman Abramovich was declared Britain’s second richest man thanks to his £11.7bn fortune. The morning’s Sun, however, reports that the Russian businessman is “down to his last £7bn,” which is less dramatic terms means that he has lost around £4.7bn.

Abramovich has been forced to cut costs, and fortunately for Frank Lampard’s bank manager, he was started trimming the fat by suspending pay and Christmas bonuses for the staff of his £72m superyacht:

“Last night angry crew members branded him Scrooge-ski for ordering the cutbacks - while still paying stars like Blues idol Frank Lampard £150,000-a-week.One said: “If he sold just one player, the savings from their wages would give us a good Christmas and a New Year rise with lots to spare.

“Bosses point out he’s a good employer and deserves loyalty during the downturn, but his footballers have been left untouched. It’s people on modest pay making sacrifices not the stars with their huge mansions.”

It’s depressing for Chelsea fans to think that their January transfer budgets will almost certainly be floating somewhere around the ‘zero’ mark, but it’s even more depressing to hear The Sun’s piss poor nickname for the billionaire. “Scrooge-ski”? Now the kids have broken up for the holidays are they writing the puns or something?