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Rio Ferdinand and Wes Brown get candid

Robbie Keane starts the conspiracy theories rolling
[The Sun]

… And the Irish justice minister demands … justice
[Telegraph]

Player gets carded for farting in ref’s face
[Mirror]

Fan fined £120k for Sweden/Denmark pitch invasion
[The Sun]

Atletico Madrid are on the brink of accepting £40m for Aguero
[Guardian]

Yuri Zhirkov’s knees are struggling with the UK weather
[Daily Star]

Celebrate Friday with an avalanche of inadvertent man love…

Cheers to Simon Bagel and eRe. The rest after the jump…

Some terribly crafty cheating from Scandinavia

The recent Swedish Allsvenskan tie between IFK Gothenburg and Orebro had to be halted after twenty minutes of play, when the referee discovered that IFK shot stopper Kim Christensen had moved the goalposts four inches closer on both sides before kick off.

It’s hard to know which is more ridiculous: the idea that Christensen thought he could get away with it in front of a stadium full of people and TV cameras, or the idea that the Swedish league uses goals that aren’t buried into the ground. Do they fall over when someone takes a hard enough shot at the post?

[101GG]

Swede turned down Premiership glory for, er, Eredivisie glory

Today, Swedish international Zlatan Ibrahimovic finds himself with one of the biggest salaries in professional football, paid by the leaders of Serie A.

However, as a humble nineteen year old at Malmo (the football team, not the range of low cost flat pack furniture), the striker came very close to joining Professor Wenger at Arsenal. Back then, of course, The Gunners were busy winning league trophies, rather than “aiming for third place” (Anelka’s words, not ours).

Ibrahimovic told Eurosport why he chose Ajax instead:

“When I was in Malmo there was someone who invited me to Arsenal to see Mr Wenger.

“And I went there, I saw Patrick Vieira and the other big players who were there and when I met Wenger we spoke a little bit.

“Then I also had Monaco, Ajax and Roma who contacted me. But in the end Ajax were keener. I think it was a better solution for me even if Wenger is doing fantastic job with the young guys.”

Most budding strikers would have found Arsenal to be the better option, but we’re inclined to agree that he made the wise choice in going Dutch. In matches against English opposition, Ibrahimovic is almost always ineffective, perhaps suggesting an incompatibility with Premier League football.

Proof that footballers really are stupid

Oksana isn’t the only hot Swedish WAG in town

Joining fellow puck bunnies Hilary Duff and Elisha Cuthbert today is Emma Andersson. Her brunette locks may suggest otherwise, but Emma is Swedish, and has forged a successful career in her homeland as a model, chef and TV personality. She is currently engaged to the Detroit Red Wings’ Henrik Zetterberg (whose lumberjack beard makes him unmistakably Swedish) and has moved from the land of saunas and affordable flat-pack furniture to Michigan, in order to be close to her man.

The hopelessly romantic Brazilian found love in Beijing

Tubby Brazilian star Ronaldinho had a relatively unspectacular Olympic tournament, but he made an effort to spice it up by asking 24-year-old Swedish footballer Johanna Almgren to marry him.

The thoroughly romantic AC Milan man popped the question using a translator, but not before attempting to seal the deal with his sexy moves. Spanish rag Marca reports:

“Ronaldinho came over to me, look me directly in the eyes, then took my hand and kissed it. Later on, his interpreter asked me to come up to his room.”

Soon after she declined his kind offer to see his room, Ronny’s translator broke the big news. To find out if blonde Göteborg FC winger Johanna accepted the proposal and to see some pictures of her, read on…

Who produces the world’s finest WAGs - America, or Europe?

This is all getting a bit too easy. For the third day running, Europe’s WAGs have thoroughly embarrassed their American counterparts. Even our burger munching chums across the pond at On205th decided Cheryl Cole was hotter than NBA WAG Eva Longoria by a margin of nearly 90 per cent. So, we go into the fourth day of the tournament with a convincing 3-0 lead.

Today, Playboy centrefold and NFL WAG Jennifer Walcott faces stiff competition from Sweden’s equally-pneumatic Oksana Andersson, ladyfriend of Christian Wilhelmsson…

Round Four: Jennifer Walcott/ Oksana Andersson

[click the image to get a better view]

More pictures of Jennifer click here, and check out Oksana here and (NSFW) here