Bitter rivalry channelled via the medium of hideous shorts

Recently, Real Madrid star Sergio Ramos has been hell-bent on making a chump out of Cristiano Ronaldo. Not only did he boff C-Ron’s pneumatic lovely Nereida Gallardo, but he attempted to completely crush his humungous ego by outdoing him in the swimwear fashion stakes.

Thankfully, Ronaldo’s ego is tenacious, and he found the resolve to recover some pride while shopping in Los Angeles yesterday. How does one respond to Sergio’s shiny gold shorts, you ask? With shorts that are even smaller and shiner, of course!

The tricky winger, whose skin tone has transformed from a light beech to a rich mahogany this summer, will make preened football stars around the globe rethink their look with his fierce hotpants and pink T-shirt combo.

It’s your move, Sergio…

[This Is Extra Time]

… the bird to irritating photographers

Until yesterday, Cristiano Ronaldo was only too happy to let the world see his collection of hideously short shorts, and his pneumatic (and officially not hot) girlfriend Nereida Gallardo.

But now things have turned ugly. A group of his friends (probably courted from Facebook) flooded a boat carrying pesky paparazzi, and then the tricky winger gave a rude hand gesture, which our American cousins inexplicably refer to as ‘flipping the bird’.

Personally, I’m glad he’s started to shake things up. His never-ending holiday was starting to look as boring as the Rooney honeymoon…

[Machochip]

Man Utd star straddles his other inflatable plastic friend

Showing his obvious fondness for ‘frolicking’, the world’s vainest man got to grips with a purple and yellow deer thing yesterday while enjoying the Sardinian coastline.

While C-Ron’s regression to a childlike state is charming to see, his choice of swimwear is not. The tricky winger has graduated from tucking his boardshorts into themselves, to the sort of minuscule swimwear that only Scandinavians deem appropriate for public use:

More pictures of Ronaldo’s Casino Royale trunks and Nereida’s latest skimpies after the jump…