Like nearly all kinds of flu, this new swine variety doesn’t do discrimination. It’s creeping into schools, offices, and now, according to the Daily Mail, it’s latched onto Craig Bellamy of Man City and smashing people with golf clubs fame.
Vladimir Weiss - the young child who usurped Wenger’s boys in the Carling Cup - has already had a bout of the cruel virus. And now, according to the assistant manager, Mark Bowen:
“It will be two or three days before Craig is out on the training ground, and looking to force his way into the team at the weekend.”
He then departed, will this chilling warning:
“There’s a little bit of it creeping into the camp.”
After this, and the one where he controls the ball dropped off a block of flats, I might just bother to watch ‘Wayne Rooney’s Street Striker’. Maybe. Probably not.
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Former Big Brother star may have brought epidemic to Teeside
Faces nightclub noticed a dramatic decrease in business recently, as two of its most loyal patrons - WAGs Chanelle Hayesand Chantelle Houghton - were enjoying a luxury holiday in Mexico.
While the trip was undoubtedly intended to alleviate the stresses of occasionally taking their clothes off in Nuts, the Big Brother beauties may have come home with a little more than a tan: The Daily Starclaim the pair are being checked out by doctors to make sure they haven’t caught the deadly piggy flu.
Chanelle is slowly working her way through the Middlesbrough team, and is currently dating midfielder Matthew Bates. If she is found to be carrying the flu, it is very likely Bates will have it, and therefore the entire Boro squad would have to be checked out.
Fortunately for Tottenham, Chantelle Houghton no longer entertaining Jermain Defoe.
Carlos Vela was feared to be carrying deadly Mexican piggy virus
The swine flu epidemic is a big deal: hundreds of people have lost their lives, the government are advising against travel to Mexico and the USA, and the tabloid press have (temporarily) stopped putting pictures of Susan Boyle on their front pages to report on it.
Concerned that the virus could spread to their squad, Arsenal told striker Carlos Vela to stay home from training on Monday, as he was visited by friends from Mexico last week. Caught in a state-the-obvious kind of mood, Arsene Wenger said:
“It looks to be a massive problem in Mexico so we asked him to stay away.”
After being checked over the by the club doctor, and being made to promise he would wash his hands and wouldn’t sneeze in anyone’s face, Vela was given the all-clear to return to action, and will feature in the squad to face Manchester Utd tonight.
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