As mentioned just yesterday, former-WAG Danielle Lloyd has recently opened a sex school in Nuts magazine, and not a minute too soon. The Spoiler has been bumbling around for years, totally unable to tell whether anything taking place between those sweaty sheets was in any way worthwhile. Some days, it felt like such a chore.
Now, today, Danielle tells us: “It can be a pleasurable experience for both parties and there’s always the chance she’ll repay the favour!”
Every single human being has lived through the traumatic night terror about arriving at work having forgotten to get dressed properly.Your colleagues laugh at you, pointing at your pathetic spotty boxer shorts, your weedy legs, their cackles lodging in your brain, never going away. Taunting you at nighttime. Hence, The Spoiler’s heart goes out to Danielle Lloyd - famous for servicing the sexual wants of Teddy Sheringham - who opened an Ultimo Shop in Debenhams in Dudley with just her bra on (pictured), exhibiting a curious mile-wide cleavage. Clusters of guffawing photographers were on hand to catch her putting a brave orange face on things, weirdly.
Between them, Danielle Lloyd and Gemma Atkinson have snogged at least four footballers, perhaps more. We’re talking Ronaldo, Sheringham, Defoe - all the greats. And yet, they no longer appear to fit the modern footballer’s distinguished palate, with Lloyd opting instead to service musicians, and Atkinson hunting around for dates in a set of aggressive leather trousers. Still, no matter, they will be back, especially if their raunchy calendars are anything to go by.
In her version, Atkinson has perfected an interesting arm-draping pose that looks fantastic/weird. While Lloyd has opted to showcase typical everyday shots, such as “legs akimbo on a balcony”, “bed sitting during Roman times”, and “bathroom nakedness”. But which one of these steamy young vixens is hotter? Let us know with a vote, then enjoy their art after the jump…
Wise and Jiminez’s international transfer list, in pencil…
First Nick Faldo and now Dennis Wise - what is it with men of sports authority and leaving bits of paper with team clues lying around? This fell out of Dennis Wise’s pocket in a local pie, mash, eels and old Joanna shop in the East End of London.
Seems the people of Newcastle were right about the cockney revolution after all.
Veteran star grasses up former teammate for DVLA offences
During his days at West Ham, Shaun Newton received a seven month ban for lapping up a little too much tasty cocaine. The midfielder, who is currently unemployed, now finds himself in more trouble, as he stands accused of nine charges of attempting to pervert the course of justice:
[Teddy Sheringham], 42, said ex-West Ham colleague Shaun Newton offered to “get rid” of the ticket after he was clocked at 64mph in a 40mph zone in 2005.
Sheringham told Croydon Crown Court: “I was moaning about getting the ticket, and Shaun Newton said, ‘Give me £50 and I’ll sort it out’.”
Ex-West Ham player, Bobby Zamora, 27, said he paid Newton to “have a look” at a ticket.
Allegedly, Newton helped teammates escape fines by claiming fictitious drivers were actually behind the wheel.
We can’t say too much, as legal proceedings are still active on this case, but if any illegal activity is proven, let’s hope the judge throws the book at them. All too often, cocky footballers believe they are above the rules that govern the rest of society, and this would bring them right back down to earth.
If you fancy buying some drugs on a night out, head to Essex!
The highest concentration of WAG and footballer activity can be found in the overpriced clubs of Soho. But for a more relaxed (cheaper) evening, many head towards the provinces, and in particular Faces Nightclub in Gants Hill.
Where: On the Cranbrook road in Gants Hill, a stone’s throw from the Tube station. If lost, one of the local drug dealers will happily point you in the right direction.
How much: Entry is a modest ten pounds, but you can
