…The Times!

The first person to spot all three errors wins a sub-editing job at a national newspaper.

A further helping of transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Emmanuel Adebayor to Manchester City
Sky sources understand that Manchester City are ready to ruin our Premier League top-scorer theory by making a move for Adebayor. However, both clubs have refused to comment on the speculation.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Sky may just be trying to generate excitement on what is a slow news day. However, if City offer the £25 million that is being reported, Arsene Wenger may accept and swoop for Bordeaux striker Marouane Chamakh at a fraction of the cost.

Xabi Alonso to Real Madrid
The Liverpool Echo are reporting that Alonso has made it clear to Rafael Benitez that he wants to play for Real Madrid next season. Rafa is apparently

Retired striker has peculiar way of spreading important message

The Spoiler recognises that it’s extremely important to raise awareness of testicular cancer, but something about this advert makes us feel quite uneasy.

Serial WAG threatening to publish her shameless exploits

In a recent survey, it was revealed that approximately 101 per cent of Premier League footballers had boffed not-a-racist glamour model Danielle Lloyd (there’s a one per cent margin of error).

The 25-year-old topless model has made the front page of the Daily Star today (a slot she seems to share solely with Chanelle Hayes and Lucy Pinder) as she is at the centre of a six-figure bidding war for the rights to publish her “X-rated autobiography”. This, of course, spells bad news for her legions of famous partners:

The sexy Scouser is due to lift the lid on her flings with the Premier League’s biggest names and reveal their wild playboy secrets.

Daring Dani’s sizzling new book, guaranteed to be a best-seller, will spill the beans on the stars’ cheating, ­gambling and boozing habits.

“She’s revealing loads she’s never spoken about before,” said a spokesman for the Daily Star babe.

“She’ll talk about her high profile relationships and what ­really went on behind the scenes.”

Danielle - whose known conquests include Marcus Bent , Armand Traoré, Jermain Defoe, Gerard Piqué, Ryan Babel and Teddy Sheringham - has traded off her relationships with sportsmen for years, but made her attitude towards girls who do kiss-and-tell stories very clear last January:

“Women who sell these stories have no self respect. They want to make money and be famous for saying they have slept with soccer stars. But they have no shame.”

Danielle’s book is out in October.

A tribute to one of the Prem’s most notorious supporting ladies

[Images removed due to copyright claim]

If this is your first encounter with Jordan, perhaps the internet isn’t for you. Katrina Amy Alexandria Alexis Infield (Katie Price to her friends, Jordan to her fans) started life in the spotlight on Page Three, and soon discovered the world of nightclubs, breast augmentations and unscrupulous footballers. After disposing of Gladiator Ace and chubby pop muppet Dane Bowers, Jordan moved onto glamour-girl-favourite Teddy Sheringham, before having a son with Dwight Yorke.

Serial footballer admirer snares victim number six

Danielle Lloyd is to footballer steamrollerings what Bob Dylan is to songwriting: prolific. Until this day she had still to be inducted into the WAG of the Day hall of fame, however, on account of her new “relationship” with Liverpool rapper/ footballer Ryan Babel, the not-a-racist-but-says-racist-things glamour model has finally earned her place.

This girl really knows her stuff…

As mentioned just yesterday, former-WAG Danielle Lloyd has recently opened a sex school in Nuts magazine, and not a minute too soon. The Spoiler has been bumbling around for years, totally unable to tell whether anything taking place between those sweaty sheets was in any way worthwhile. Some days, it felt like such a chore.

Now, today, Danielle tells us: “It can be a pleasurable experience for both parties and there’s always the chance she’ll repay the favour!”

Yeah, um, you’ve lost us there, Lloyd.

[Nuts]

Ex-WAG still fascinates us…

Every single human being has lived through the traumatic night terror about arriving at work having forgotten to get dressed properly.Your colleagues laugh at you, pointing at your pathetic spotty boxer shorts, your weedy legs, their cackles lodging in your brain, never going away. Taunting you at nighttime. Hence, The Spoiler’s heart goes out to Danielle Lloyd - famous for servicing the sexual wants of Teddy Sheringham - who opened an Ultimo Shop in Debenhams in Dudley with just her bra on (pictured), exhibiting a curious mile-wide cleavage. Clusters of guffawing photographers were on hand to catch her putting a brave orange face on things, weirdly.

Chin up, Lloyd. Chin up.