Toon Army unhappy with controversial takeover plans

Geordies are outraged today by the news that the Bin Ladens are front runners in the race to take Newcastle United from Mike Ashley. The Saudi BinLadin Group, who turn over around £2.5billion annually through their construction work, have reportedly offered £300m for the club, and they plan to spend millions developing leisure and retail facilities around St James’ Park.

Osama was disowned by his family many years before 9/11, but the prospect of having an overweight recluse replaced by lots of men with big beards is a frightening one.

Ben Linton, a 27-year-old insurance broker from Gateshead said: “I saw Team America at the cinema and on DVD, so I know that terrorism is something I do not want my club associated with.”

Boris Langley, a retired teacher from Newcastle,