… a bit rubbish

This week, John Barnes and Barnsley FC’s resident poet Ian McMillan judged the government-backed ‘Get On’ competition, in which fans from hundreds of clubs submitted chants that they had written themselves.

Southend Utd fan Terry Cockell penned an ode to Dougie Freedman set to the tune of The Wombles. Despite picking a melody that is rather more synonymous with AFC Wimbledon, the 39-year-old accountant’s effort won the grand prize, which was a trip to a recording studio.

Here are the lyrics to Britain’s Best Football Chant:

Underground, overground signed on a free,

He’s Dougie Freedman of S.U.F.C.

Scores goals for fun, he’s blue through and through,

Better watch out ‘cos he’ll score against you.

John Barnes - whose Anfield Rap helped Liverpool lose the 1988 FA Cup Final - was full of indifferent praise for the winning chant: