The hitmen who didn’t quite cut it at international level

In light of in-form Sunderland striker Darren Bent’s omission from Don Fabio’s latest England squad, Spoiler correspondent Alex Perry has compiled a list of English strikers who failed to sparkle on the international stage. Who knows, Darren, if you keep “banging them in” you may get a chance to avoid joining this list…

Chris Sutton
410 club appearances / 88 goals
1 England appearance / 0 goals

Alan Shearer’s other half in Blackburn Rovers’ deadly strike force, Sutton was the joint top-scorer with Dion Dublin and 18-year-old Michael Owen in the 1997/98 season, and thus a shoo-in for the upcoming World Cup squad, surely? Well, no, because Sutton had decided a few months before that playing for an experimental England ‘B’ team wasn’t for him and Glenn Hoddle decided Sutton’s single goalless cap in an England shirt was enough.

Robbie Fowler
409 club appearances / 172 goals (and counting)
26 England appearances / 8 goals

You couldn’t pick up a newspaper in the nineties without reading about “England’s most natural finisher”, scoring 30-plus goals three seasons on the bounce. Fowler went to Euro ‘96 in the form of his life, but he was never going to unsettle the Shearer/Sheringham partnership that did so well in that tournament.

Persistent injuries, the “Spice Boy” lifestyle and controversial goal celebrations meant Fowler was restricted to just 26 England appearances and just one competitive goal - against Albania in a World Cup qualifier.

Matthew Le Tissier
443 club appearances / 162 goals
8 England appearances / 0 goals

A goal in every two-and-a-half games is an unbelievable return

Former Barca boss is well aware of the Argentinian’s limitations

Terry Venables, as quoted in yesterday’s Daily Mail:

‘If it does come down to Messi against Ronaldo, well, Messi is one of the best players in the world, but give me Ronaldo. Messi is wonderful on the right but Ronaldo is terrific on the right, the left and through the middle as well. He also scores goals with his head, which Messi couldn’t do even if they put a top hat on him.

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Stroppy Bulgarian responsible for Spurs’ current peril

According to everyone’s favourite crook former England manager Terry Venables, the lacklustre start to Spurs’ season isn’t down to Juande Ramos’ questionable selections, poor use of transfer funds or general incompetence on the field, but it’s all because of that pesky striker who played for a few minutes in the opening game of the season. The Sun sez:

Bulgarian strike ace Berbatov kept telling us he had a ‘dream’. Well, good for you Dimi, you had a dream with a few extra noughts added to your bank balance.But don’t you think Spurs had a dream too? Don’t you think that when they bought you and helped you blossom into one of the best strikers in the world, you had a duty to reward them by helping them fulfil THEIR dream.

You got your way but your poisonous presence at the start of this season - the pouting, the brooding and the reluctance to play - has cost the club that believed in you.

So, is Mr Venables right in asserting that Spurs’ current predicament is down to the striker, or is it all down to Ramos and dome-headed chairman Daniel Levy? Let us know your thoughts with a comment below.

An emergency? Quick, call Captain Disaster!

If history has taught us anything, it’s that you need a steady hand to calm a maddening crowd. Not Terry Venables. His kindly demeanour and likable personality make him seem warm and cuddly - in fact, he’s a bit like Keegan, only without the crippling oversensitive side and relentless nervous breakdowns. But don’t be fooled by the warmth, people of Newcastle, the man is jinxed.

Wherever he goes, bad things happen. Remember Leeds United? Crystal Palace? Of course you don’t

SkyBet slash former England boss to 2/1

Terry Venables’ odds to succeed Kevin Keegan as Newcastle manager have been slashed from 33/1 to just 2/1 on SkyBet after a flurry of three-figure bets were placed on the former England boss earlier today.

It was reported on Sunday that Venables had been offered the job by Mike Ashley but turned it down. Keegan is still joint-favourite on Sky Bet and is just 11/10 to return with William Hill.

Venables has won La Liga and the FA Cup in his managerial career as well as taking England to the semi-finals of Euro 1996 but his last job was to assist Steve McClaren in failing to qualify for Euro 2008. Would he be a good choice? Let us know with a comment below.

Newcastle boss believes the traditional handshake is so passé

Kevin Keegan is a strong advocate of palm-to-cheek affection, and has been avoiding the handshakes of players and managers up and down the country since his nineties prime.

Take a look at the inspirational gallery below and remember - why shake someone’s hand when you could invade their personal space?

Victim: Wenger

Victim: Keane

Victim: Grant