Hide your faces in shame…

Ug, is there anything worse than having all of your dreams shattered? The short answer is, of course, no, no there isn’t. Yet every year we get all excited and start hailing new saviours for the England football team, here to finally banish a million years of pain. Players like Barnes, Collymore, Gareth Barry, Walcott.

These men came to us like mighty footballing Christs, then gave us nothing but salty tears.

Yeah, thanks a lot, guys. Here’s the worst of the bunch…

GK Chris Kirkland
When Kirkland joined Liverpool in 2001, people went mental, insisting that he was the future England keeper, and would be for hundreds of years to come. Then he kept getting injured, and now Capello has more faith in David James, an 86-year-old gentleman who Liverpool fans once derided for being totally rubbish.

DL Wayne Bridge
What a breath of fresh air Bridge was when he was careering up and down the flanks at Southampton. Some even suggested that he might be better than that hateful little toad, Ashley Cole. Unfortunately, even Wayne Bridge wasn’t buying that one, and he now spends his days earning money for doing nothing, which makes him a total loser/genius.