Page Three girl returns to the top flight with a brand new partner
Nicola Tappenden (or ‘Nicola T, 25, from Croydon’, as you may know her) enjoyed the WAG lifestyle for two years with West Ham’s Bobby Zamora, but in 2007 she finally she packed up the giant picture of her breasts that hung above their bed, accusing the striker of being unfaithful. This season, however, Nicola will be making a glorious return to the Premiership on the arm of Hull City fiancé Simon Walton. [Looks like she won’t be back in the Prem just yet, as Walton’s loan spell at Hull has just ended - Ed.]
Little Dennis Wise isn’t all about needless aggression and taking Mike Ashley’s money for no particular reason. In his late nineties playing career, he also offered free testicular exams, and here he is carrying one out on The Sun’s least informed sports journalist.
Thanks to eagle-eyed Sporno fan Pranav for the spot.
Today’s transfer rumours, as made up to fill column inches in the nationals
Aside from the superteam that the papers are dreaming up at Chelsea, the other big news today comes from Spurs. Apparently Darren ‘purchase of the season’ Bent is looking for pastures new, and Roy Keane’s Sunderland could be the team to pay him £30k a week to finally get off the bench…
Heurelho Gomes to Tottenham
Gomes claims the proud honour of being the 571st goalkeeper linked with Spurs this summer. At this rate Paul Robinson will be starting the opening game.The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Would be a good signing for Spurs
Darren Bent to Sunderland
Has anyone noticed how quiet things have grown on the Berbatov front? Instead it’s Darren Bent who is apparently the striker most eager to escape North London.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Could depend Berbatov’s movements
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Deco likely, Robinho maybe, the others doubtful.
Marcus Bent to Hull
A day after The Spoiler highlighted one of the newly promoted clubs as the most likely location for that other striker called Bent, The Sun reports
Ian Wright unveils controversial plan to stamp out lippy outbursts
In a week that saw tantrums from Cashley Cole and Javier Mascherano, esteemed Sun journalist Ian Wright has revealed a ridiculous intriguing plan to bring some respect back into the game. Wrighty believes teams should have points deducted at specific points in the season, based upon the amount of dissent players have shown. He also wants to ban any type of swearing towards match officials (I thought that was already banned?), employ lip readers to study match footage after games (an idea he probably discovered when leafing through Zoo Magazine) and impose a rule that will see only team captains talking to the referee.
Is it just me or is this idea a little bit daft? Perhaps a better solution would be to introduce a straight red card for dissent, with video evidence and lip reading being employed to influence the length of the ban. What do you think? Get voting!
It’s all betrayal and fake tans in the world of Waggery
When beset by heartache, it is often best to confide in someone. In reaction to her separation with three-timing serial WAG boffer Jermain Defoe, Danielle Lloyd has done exactly that, by sharing her pain with the readers of The Daily Star:
‘It was my decision to finish it and I am happy to be single again. After the story broke, I just couldn’t trust him. I empathise with Cheryl. It is horrible when you are in love with someone and you find out they have betrayed you.’
By rutting other ladies without a care in the world, Defoe hardly gave you much choice in finishing the relationship, Dani. And yes it is horrible to be betrayed by your lover - just ask Charlotte Meares, the WAG he betrayed to go out with you!
This ex-Page 3 girl is now a self-professed ‘Diva SuperWAG’
If you were lucky enough to pick up a copy of Britain’s fourth favourite tabloid, The Daily Star, this morning, you would have seen lower league WAG Nicola McLean adorning the front page. The 25-year-old is from Swansea, and is the current beau of Peterborough’s Tommy Williams. At 10pm tonight she will
