Defender favourably compared to scary drug dealing lady

When Phil Neville was given the nickname “T-Bag“, it became clear that Premier League footballers don’t simply divide their free time between harassing models in Movida and harassing ten-year-olds on Xbox Live - they also make time for DVD boxsets of American TV shows.

Glen Johnson is the latest victim of this leisure activity, having earned himself the nickname “Snoop” from his Liverpool teammates. The name comes not from his likeness to popular rapper and pornographer Snoop Dogg, but rather Felicia “Snoop” Pearson, the indecipherable gangster from The Wire who is rather handy with a nail gun…

Great, the drug epidemic has hit South America… 

Anyone already pining for The Wire could do a lot worse than hang out with Man United midfielder, Anderson.

In a recent report by the Associated Press, it appears that the footballer was caught speaking on a wiretap to Ronaldinho about attending a party with a drug trafficker called Richard Alex Martins - the very same Senor Martins who was arrested on Monday in a massive exciting drugs bust at Anderson’s home in Porto Alegre.

Hey, we love Hollywood… but that’s about it

Let’s not mince our words - some things about America are brilliant. They’ve given us cheeseburgers (pictured), The Wire, James Brown, sex scandals, trainers, plastic surgery, meat on a stick, wise cracking children, cheerleaders and war. But, that’s no excuse to ever let them host a football World Cup again. Here’s a list of reasons why that would be a rubbish idea:

1. They HATE football

Rather arrogantly, they play the baseball “World Series” every year, ignoring the fact that the rest of the world prefers a slower version called rounders (great for a flirtatious summer picnic, by the way). But basketball is their number one - essentially giants playing catch. Also high on their radar is American Football, golf, athletics, and gentlemen wrestling in leotards. Real football barely even computes.