van Persie, Fabregas and Arshavin > Henry, Pires and Bergkamp?

After Arsenal’s 4-1 Champions League cakewalk against the Eredivisie champions last night, Arsene Wenger was moved to compare his young team to the unbeaten Gunners squad of 03/04:

We’ve never had as many options on the creative side. We still have Nicklas Bendtner and Theo Walcott who are offensive players who are not available.

Denilson, Eduardo, Tomas Rosicky did not start - that is why I was amazed when people said, ‘Buy, buy, buy’. And Carlos Vela as well… I forgot him!

Fair assessment, or another one of Le Prof’s attempts to tack an extra psychological boost onto an impressive performance? Ljungberg, Henry, Pires and Bergkamp had racked up 16 goals and 10 assists in all competitions by this time in 03/04 season; while van Persie, Arshavin, Bendtner and Fabregas are already on 24 goals and 23 assists.

In terms of depth, Wenger has a point - as backups go, Eduardo, Rosicky and Nasri are a more desirable trio of reinforcements than Reyes, Wiltord and Kanu were. But does the overall attacking quality of the squad match up?

Titi expresses wish to team up with Professor Wenger once again

Thierry Henry has spent the majority of his career under the instruction of Arsene Wenger, and makes no secret of his love of England (he loves him some tea and scones). In light of these facts, the Barcelona star has anounced his intention to return to these shores to team up with the huge-brained Frenchman once again - even if it means assuming the humiliating role of an Adam Sandler-style waterboy:

“I’ve always said you go back to where you belong. I’ve never stopped saying that I love Arsenal and I’ll one day go back there. How? I don’t know - maybe a waterboy!

“I just love the club and one day I’ll go back for sure.

Because using the top of the boot is so last year

If footballers kicking a ball with the top of their foot isn’t enough excitement for you, the last seven days has really been a treat, as a trend of using an alternative means of transport in getting ball to net has emerged. Aston Villa’s Gabriel Agbonlahor started it off last Wednesday night against Cardiff, Andrei Arshavin continued on Tuesday but the Milan-Zurich game last night saw the phenomena reach its zenith, with one of the great back-heels from former West Ham defender Hannu Tihinen (he didn’t learn that from Steve Lomas down at the Boleyn), in addition to a similar goal from Porto’s Falcao.

The Spoiler’s six favourite back-footed compliments are after the jump.

French captain doesn’t hate manager as much as we thought

French daily Le Parisien this week claimed Thierry Henry stood up during a French team meeting on Friday and berated Raymond Domenech, labelling his training sessions as boring and complaining that the team didn’t know what to do on the pitch. However, the Barcelona star has now denied the quotes and the apparent rift between the French national team and its manager.

Henry appeared on French station TV1 clear up the situation:

“No. Nothing happened on Friday.”

“We had a discussion, as often happens between a team and their coach, but it was a rather constructive discussion.

“I’ve been saying for some time now. But when you do not win the game it is much more complicated to get this message across. There is a great atmosphere in this squad. I can say I see it every day.”

We have little doubt that the original quotes in le Parisien were fabricated - this could represent the first time a newspaper has been found to make something up since the last time The Sun published a transfer rumour - but judging by the contemptuous glare in the picture above, there’s clearly no love lost between Henry and Domenech.

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Titi lays into his national manager in front of whole French squad

After helping France reach last place in their group at Euro 2008 - an embarrassment that was compounded by an awfully-timed post-match marriage proposal - it it highly surprising that Raymond Domenech has managed to cling onto his job. The pressure on the national team coach has intensified once more, as Les Bleus’ disappointing 1-1 draw with Romania on Saturday was preceded by a barrage of criticism from team captain Thierry Henry.

In a press conference last Friday, Henry raised a few eyebrows when he claimed the team have “always had problems” during Domenech’s reign. According to a report in French paper le Parisien, Domenech then gathered the players and staff into a meeting room, where he offered the following:

“I hope today you’ll be better in training. So far, I have not seen guys who wanted, who were fully prepared for the important meeting on Saturday.”

After an awkward silence, the tense atmosphere is said to have been broken by captain Thierry Henry, who replied:

“Coach, we too have something to say. I speak for the entire squad.

“We are getting bored during your training sessions.

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Rab C. Nesbitt inspires fierce new look at the Catalan club

As FC Barcelona are put through their paces in some rigorous pre-season medical assessments, Thierry Henry and Sergio Biscuits have decided to swap their standard Nike apparel for some rather fetching string vests. We wonder where they got that idea from…