Portuguese man-o’-sex wants to meet injured golf legend
Cristiano Ronaldo knows he is brilliant at football, great at sex and looks wonderful in a nice pair of shiny hotpants. Clearly, he’s got it all. Yet the one thing he truly desires - with the obvious exception of a transfer to a club based in Spain’s capital - is a meeting with his sporting icon Tiger Woods:
“In terms of footballers, I have met everyone,” he said. “But I’d like to meet Tiger Woods. He’s phenomenal.
“My golf is very bad. I don’t like to play golf but I like to watch it.”
Wait a minute, did Cristiano Ronaldo just say he was bad at something? What possible reason could he have for temporarily abandoning his unfaltering self confidence? Could it be that he is deliberately trying to raise the profile of a fellow Nike endorser who has been off the golf radar for some time?
Proof that even men in tank tops can win over fabulous ladies
Long before he possessed a PGA Tour card, golfer David Toms managed to bag himself a top class WAG. Now that the American pro has enjoyed many years in the top ten rankings, we have been treated to numerous outing by his wife Sonya. Such is her beauty that golf club managers seem to have no problem with her blatant disregard for dress code rules.
It’s the last day of the US vs Europe WAG battle today, and I’m sorry to report that the supporting ladies from Americaland have gained some significant ground in the last few days.
To ensure a victory for our continent, be sure to support Tiger Woods’ lovely Swedish wife in her duel with Puck Bunny Hilary Duff today, both here and at On205th.
(And don’t worry if you missed a previous round, you can catch up on sexy democracy right here.)
Enhancing the reputation of Swedish au pairs worldwide
Swedish au pairs are often stereotyped as devastatingly beautiful blondes, who are partial to wearing less clothes than society deems necessary. Former model Elin Nordegren does nothing to dispel this perception. She and twin sister (!) Josefin were working as childminders for Swedish golfer Jesper Parnevik in 2001, when she caught the attention of a young man named Tiger Woods. They were engaged in 2003, married in 2004, and enjoying the birth of their first child Sam Alexis Woods in 2007. Poor old Jesper, meanwhile, has had to make do with just one incredibly hot au pair.
If you’re the kind of person who likes to react to the news by standing hand on hips, legs akimbo and breathing furiously through your nose, the last few days have been vintage. T5, Robert Mugabe, Nazi-themed orgies - can the suburbs handle it? That spell of drama is due to diminish this week with the US Masters, with Tiger Woods at 8/1 to win. That’s win ALL FOUR majors this summer, not just this one. So no surprise if he wins at Augusta, but no surprise if he doesn’t either, as readers of the Big Book of Tiger Cliches will already know. “Anything can happen in golf,” it begins, and “Tiger’s only human, after all.” For those looking to keep the eternal flame of outrage stoked, however, the guys at Terminal 5 are still playing a belter.
Spoiler tip: Paddy Power’s placed bets pay out if your chosen player finishes in the top five. Geoff Ogilvy has already beaten Tiger in Miami this year, so placing him at 4/1 is a top punt. Open an account with them here and get a free £10 bet for your troubles.
The statistics
* Tiger Woods has been the favourite for each of the past five years, but he has only won it once in that time (2005).
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