Insight into why he has the turning speed of a block of flats…

Ex-Spurs Steed Malbranque and Andy Reid were never the tallest of players, but this is just silly.

Tottenham star bags an X-rated beauty

Corinna Harrison is a rather pneumatic glamour model who, according to the good folks at Nuts magazine, has caught the attention of Tottenham central midfielder Tom Huddlestone.

We’re not sure where Huddlestone learned of her existence, but if he is anything like Jacqui Smith’s husband, he will have noticed her operating under the name ‘Candy Summers’ on satellite bongo channel Televsion X.  

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Andres Iniesta to Manchester City
Those who didn’t spend the Bank Holiday weekend in the company of tabloid newspapers may have missed the News of the World’s latest Manchester City scoop. Apparently, Barcelona’s Andres Iniesta is on the hit list, and the opening bid is likely to be around £35m.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: City will almost certainly bag a “box office signing” in the summer break, but the contract that keeps Iniesta at the Nou Camp until 2014 might be a stumbling block.

Tom Huddlestone and Gareth Bale to Fulham
Tom Huddlestone has been letting the world know he is unhappy about slipping down ‘Arry’s pecking order of late (”I am not young any more; I need to be playing week-in and week-out”), and admits he may leave White hart Lane in the summer. The Daily Express report that Fulham are interested, and the West Londoners will also inquire after the services of Gareth Bale.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: This wouldn’t be the first time Fulham

The latest gossip, rumours and damned lies…

In a triumph of dignity over truckloads of cash, Kaka has snubbed Manchester City’s advances, causing The Sun to publish their worst headline of all time: “Stabbed in the Kak.” While City fans try and make sense of that nonsensical attempt at vulgar innuendo, they can also despair at the news that Robinho has stormed out of their Tenerife training camp and is on his way back to Brazil.

While we ponder their next move in the market (David Villa, anyone?), here’s the latest in Transferland…

Tom Huddlestone to Hamburg
The Daily Mail believe the young Spurs midfielder is all set to link up with old gaffer Martin Jol, who considers him the best player of his type and age in Europe.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Only a handful of players seem safe under the Redknapp regime, and Huddlestone’s replacement Didier Zokora is one of them. Jol has also been promised a replacement for the imminently City-bound Nigel de Jong.

Jermaine Pennant to Portsmouth
The south coast club have agreed terms with the Liverpool star, who is said to favour

Fame whore with reality TV aspirations

If you are looking for an example of a person willing to exploit, humiliate and infuriate a Premier League footballer, look no further than today’s WAG of the Day, 29-year-old Jill Demirel. According to the News of the World, the Chigwell-based mum of two had a fling with Arsenal’s Justin Hoyte, and when he decided to put an end to their casual arrangement, she decided to ‘get him back’ by sleeping with Spurs’ Tom Huddlestone. Yeah, that’ll teach him.

If you want to see shameless Jill deliver her shudder-worthy story, click here and follow the video link.

Another day, and the chattering voices have been spluttering about transfers. Next season, it appears we can expect at least one more talented Spaniard in our ranks, someone with a weird name, and two of Tottenham’s finest might relocate to the Midlands…

Aaron Lennon and Tom Huddlestone to Aston Villa
Martin O’Neill has clearly been studying Alex Ferguson’s 1990s blueprints as he continues his quest to build a young English side. Next on the menu - Quickie and Fattie from Spurs?

David Villa to Arsenal
The wealthy pockets of Chelsea have demanded him, but Villa has been overheard gushing about how cool Arsenal are. Might Arsene be tempted to unlock his wallet for this one? Around £20 million would do it - that’s seven Adebayors in Wenger speak.