We’re on the march with Rafa’s army

To the causal observer, a list of Liverpool’s troubles right now would probably begin with an unusually cruel injury list. Next would be their manager’s inability to purchase any useful players since Fernando Torres, and then a close third would be Rafa’s failure to produce a single young player of note since he arrived.

So no prizes for guessing what 10,000 Liverpool fans will be taking to the streets to whinge about on Sunday afternoon - the owners of course. “They haven’t built our new stadium” - although most fans want to stay at Anfield. “They don’t give Rafa enough money” - well they gave him £40m for Dossena, Keane, Babel and Riera so would you shell out any more in their position? “They must sell up now” - the Americans are trying their hardest to shift the club.

Still, why let a valid argument get in the way of a good afternoon’s whining up at Anfield? Walk on indeed…

A city comes together united under one banner… well, two

Oh, everything’s been going wonderfully well at Anfield - The Reds finally beat Manchester United, and got their Champions League and Carling Cup campaigns off to a winning start. Just don’t mention Stoke, nobody needs to mention Stoke. What was that? The Stoke game? Ahh, you just had to say it didn’t you! What is WRONG with you people? Anyway, who gives one, we’ll all have forgotten about the lurching awkwardness of the Stoke game once Everton win the Merseyside derby and claim their throne as the Capital of Culture’s number one team. Here’s why Everton will definitely win:

1. Over the last five years the two teams have taken it in turns to win this fixture. Liverpool won 2-1 last year meaning that now it’s Everton’s turn.

2. Everton have only lost four Premier League home games in each of the last two seasons so having lost two already, their home form surely won’t last much longer.

3. Liverpool have triumphed in just sixteen of their last forty Premier League away games.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

In this world, some people just don’t understand each other. Go into any shoe shop on a sweltering Saturday, and you’ll see men - grown men - in the midst of a finger pointing whirlwind, starring blankly at their disgruntled wives/girlfriends, totally unaware of what they might have just done wrong. They’re bewildered. Much in the same way that The Spoiler is feeling bewildered right now. Because of the Spanish.

Just five short days ago, we wrote a kind-hearted, innocent piece about how the Spanish football team was still celebrating Euro 2008 almost a week after it had finished. We chuckled to ourselves, hugged, and went home happily singing Spanish folk songs to show our inner appreciation of Spain. And then something disturbing happened. Actual Spanish people read the piece, and it seems our gentle musings have been met with a roaring fury. From nowhere.

“What’s the problem?” raged Nadia7.

Because the PFA vote neglected the last three months of action

Last night, the PFA names their team of the season, but did you know that members voted for it all the way back in January? In his BBC Sport Column, Micah Richards admits that votes were cast way back when Arsenal were on for the title and Newcastle were going down, meaning the past few months of play have not been taken into account. With that in mind, here’s our team of the season from February onwards:

Chris Kirkland
Contributed to Arsenal’s downfall with a stunning clean sheet at the JJB before stealing the spotlight again at Stamford Bridge to help Wigan to a 1-1 draw, which could prove crucial come the end of the season. Remarkably, Wigan have kept more clean sheets than any other Premier League team from February onwards.

Patrice Evra
Gael Clichy’s season went down the drain with Arsenal’s while Evra has been solid all season long at the back for Manchester United.

Nemanja Vidic
Keeps his place and, if anything, his importance to Manchester United has been magnified by their vulnerability when he has been missing.

Phil Jagielka
Dropping Ferdinand may seem harsh but a defence made up of Manchester United and Arsenal players can’t be justified when Everton have let in fewer goals in 2008 than anyone else in the country. Joleon Lescott has taken the plaudits because of his goal contribution but while he has made a few mistakes, Jagielka has grown in stature as the season’s progressed and could be close to an England call-up.

Bacary Sagna
The only one of four Arsenal

It seems that in the world of professional football, right backs and left backs are like the hospital porters compared to the glitzy surgeons nodding them in up front. Not one of the tireless wing-backs features in the Top Fifty earners - not even Mrs Gary Neville, who you would think demands money for breakfast.

Hence, the highest earning XI finds itself having to go with a 3-4-3 formation, which in modern footballing terms, is ridiculous. Still, here they are in all their wealthy glory:

Goalkeeper: Iker Casillas (£114,750/week)

Defenders: Rio Ferdinand (£96,581), John Terry (£130,050), Sol Campbell (£105,188)

Midfield: Cristiano Ronaldo (£122,400), Frank Lampard (£130,050), Steven Gerrard (£122,400), Michael Ballack (£124,313)

Forwards: Kaka (143,438), Ronaldinho (£135,788), Fernando Torres (£126,225)

Think your rabble could beat them?

“Can we play at the San Siro every week?” ask English sides

In case you missed it, here’s the action that caused Roberto Mancini to stand down as Internazionale coach last night. The home side missed a slew of chances, but never looked likely to get the three goals required to go through.

Well done, Liverpool!

Says emotional man who mistakenly thought Ramos was going to share his English pounds with him

Not everyone, it seems, is pleased that Juande Ramos has got himself a big fat job in England. At his old club Sevilla, for “not everyone” read “no one”. The latest of his old friends to take to the papers to describe their good mate’s shabby attitude is his former agent, a Mr Torres, who wrongly assumed he would be getting a taste of whatever currency they use at Spurs.

“He turned his back on me, the same as he did to