Tony Adams appears to be making his mark on the Portsmouth squad via the medium of embarrassing old automobiles - for giving the worst performance on the training pitch, David James was made to drive around in a Del Boy-esque Reliant Robin.
To compound the embarrassment, the speaker on the top plays farmyard animal noises (is it the sound of a donkey, Tony?) and there’s a pretty array of flowers on the dashboard.
Perhaps if Mr James spent less time with his cigarettes and games consoles, he would spend less time in the old banger…
Lessons in breathing and blinking expected to follow
Presumably inspired by Cristiano Ronaldo’s propensity to stay up all night entertaining the ladies, Manchester Utd have given certain players professional assistance with going to sleep:
The sleep coach visited the club training HQ last month.”It was a voluntary thing, so the whole squad didn’t attend - but quite a few of the lads did.
“Since then he’s been to a good few of their homes.
“He told them to pay more attention to what they sleep on and that they had to take account of height
Italians brace themselves for huge marketing opportunity
This morning, Major League Soccerballer David Beckham confirmed that he will be heading to Italy in the new year, as the club will provide the ideal environment for keeping his wife in boutiques maintaining his fitness. Goal.com reports:
“Milan here I come. I want to continue being a footballer,” said Beckham via his spokesman Simon Oliveira.
“Yes, it’s all true. I will arrive in Milan at the end of the year and I will stay until February.
“Only European football can take me back to certain levels and only Milan is the right way to refind competitiveness.”
Training with a top UEFA Cup side like Milan will undoubtedly keep Becks at a suitable level of fitness during the MLS closed season, with the idea being that he stays match fit for potential England selection. This seems smart enough, but if he wants to stay in contention for the national side, shouldn’t he train or play where Don Fabio can keep a closer eye on him? Even if he didn’t accept Harry Redknapp’s offer (it’s unlikely - have you ever been shopping at Gunwharf Quays?), he could perhaps train with Arsenal again (although admittedly, he failed to make the England last time he did this).
Is Beckham making the right choice with Milan, or would he be better off training, and maybe playing with, a club in the greatest league in the world? Join in the debate with a vote and comment below…
The semi-finals of the men’s Olympic football tournament will be played tomorrow, where Argentina and Brazil will battle it out for a guaranteed medal. As an incredibly exciting precursor, ‘Manchester Unite’ stars Anderson and Carlos Tevez have been pitting their wits against one another at Connect Four, snap and Jenga.
So, do these rudimentary games give Fergie’s men the edge on the pitch? Find out The Spoiler’s verdict after the jump…
Footballers lead a blessed existence - the money, the girls, the adulation. But for every upside there is a downside, for every yin a yang, for all the pleasure, there is pain. Especially up in Liverpool, where the players are forced to undergo a series of deeply humiliating training rituals.
Obviously taking his cue from Rocky VI - the most overtly political of the boxing films, in which Sly Stallone trained using not cool things like rowing machines and cross trainers, but instead massive logs, cold meats, and snow - Rafa Benitez has incorporated everyday household objects like boxes and strange poles into his regime. Dirk Kuyt, for one, was forced to balance on a box, as his out-of-view team mates guffawed and poked fun at him. While Steven Gerrard and Jermaine Pennant jumped up and down like looneys.
Eastern Europeans perfect the art of hamstring stretching
This Turkish publication has grasped the concept of tongue-in-cheek Sporno with two firm hands: the underlined quote on the left hand side reads, “(Players of) Idmanyurdu are training hard,” while the right hand side reads “players seem to be ambitious during training”.
If you took twenty monkeys and twenty grown men and forced them to mingle in shop window, statistics suggest that passers-by would be able to correctly identify about twelve of the men, but some would be so hairy that they might as well be monkeys. It sounds strange, but those are the facts. Unless, of course, those men happen to play for Tottenham Hotspur, in which case, no problem, they’re all completely hairless. How the hell did that happen?
Has Ramos demanded that all his players have smooth chests and legs next season? Is this some kind of European technique that no one knows about?
By the looks of things, the players have been subjected to a rigorous summer training programme, including: beach frolicking, diving into waves, waxing, bumping chests, cocktails, and disco dancing.
Be afraid, other Premier League teams. Be very afraid.
