Liverpool captain enjoys training ground treat

There are worse jobs in life than being a physio for a Premier League football club, but on the days where Stevie G requires a ‘tune-up’ in his gentleman’s region, Liverpool’s muscle expert probably wishes he still worked at David Lloyd.

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If Jermain Defoe contracts TB, you’ll know why

For many years, Portsmouth have trained at a rather humble sports ground in Eastleigh (where incidentally, I use to see Harry et al on a regular basis while playing football at university). Now, however, they have permission to move to a site at Lee-on-the-Solent, which is ten times the size and worthy of housing a club with international ambitions.

Permission was only granted, however, on the condition that the club protect wildlife on the site, mainly consisting of badgers.

So, if you see Harry Redknapp rocking a black and white creature to sleep, or Peter Crouch roaming around Hampshire setts with a torch late at night, fending away foxes and unscrupulous gangsters with large dogs, don’t be alarmed.

Spoiler bonus: If you haven’t seen this, you’re clearly not using the internet properly.

[Portsmouth News via Unprofessional Foul]

Nomadic keeper favours outside of building over toilet

If Mr Carson is trying to work his way back into Rafa’s good books, he probably isn’t going the right way about it. His impression of a drunk outside a kebab shop at 3.30am was caught at Liverpool’s Melwood training ground earlier today.

And yes, that is his finger.

First Beckham loses inability to drink, now this

Uh, Real Madrid, you might want C-Ron to have a medical before you hand over that £75million…

The Reds get vandalised by the text message generation

Some angry Liverpool fans tried to vent their frustrations before yesterday’s Champions League tie, but something tells me they didn’t attend the Derek Zoolander School for kids who can’t read good and wanna learn to do other things good too.

[The Mirror]