Winger recalls the trauma of relegation, takes swipe at Newcastle 

As The Spoiler watched Newacstle’s Premier League swansong in a busy Las Vegas casino sports book, a distraught Geordie shouted “Let’s torch the place!” just as the final whistle blew. The immediate appearance of dozens of security staff changed the supporter’s mind, but the point was clear: those involved with the Toon Army didn’t take relegation well. Today, it has been revealed that Damien Duff had an equally hyperbolic reaction when Captain Shearer failed to avoid the huge iceberg ahead of the SS Newcastle:

“I was feeling suicidal about the way we went down at Newcastle and wasn’t even thinking that far ahead.”

One would imagine it would take months, maybe years, for someone to come to terms with an event so tragic that it prompted thoughts of suicide, but Damien Duff is a trooper. Not only has he successfully moved back to the Premier League with Fulham, but he has even found the strength of spirit to deliver a backhanded swipe at his beloved former employers:

“It’s really exciting, from where I have come from, to come to a well-run football club and a team where everyone enjoys their job.”

Calls us pedantic, but when Duff said “suicidal about the way we went down at Newcastle”, did he actually mean “mildly peeved that I would have to move house”?

Tomorrow’s headlines today…

Arsene Wenger admitted in June that he’s been tracking the progress of Vincent Kompany since he was 16, but that he wouldn’t sign him this summer because his defence didn’t need strengthening (which seems strange considering they’ve just bought Mikael Silvestre).

Anyway, it looks like someone at the City of Manchester Stadium with supersonic hearing listened to Wenger coo and decided the Belgian defender might be a useful asset. His German club Hamburg, managed by Steve McClaren impersonator Martin Jol, have confirmed that they have agreed