Toon billionaire reveals his pockets are not bottomless

Mike Ashley - who showed his inner Geordie by donning just a shirt in the stands last week - has revealed Newcastle’s spending budget will be limited to £15m this summer.

The Sun call this “a far cry from the days when the club shelled out a record £16m for striker Michael Owen,” but according to The Spoiler’s resident maths expert, it is in fact a difference of £1m.

Newcastle fans may be worried about the belt tightening, but they should be much more concerned the mathematical nous of managing director Derek Llambias:

“Are we going to be a Manchester City? No. Mike’s a billionaire and a very wealthy man. Can he afford to do £20m a year? No. £30m? No.”

If he can’t afford £20m, does it not go without saying that he cannot afford £30m? Sitting at the negotiating table with Mr Llambias must be a very tiresome experience…