Sweet Baby Joseph, it is HOT outside. It’s all ice lollies, hand held electronic fans and bikinis in this office. But don’t be fooled, we’re not just keeping ourselves cool, there’s also work to be done. Today’s transfers read like this:

Peter Crouch to Portsmouth
So long are Crouch’s spindly spiders legs that he’s somehow managed to score thirteen goals this season - all from his seat in the dugout. Just imagine how he’d get on if he was actually playing. Word is, Portsmouth have been doing exactly that.

Michael Kightley to West Ham
Despite the fact that Alan Curbishley headed straight into hiding after getting humiliated by Man United, the gossips at the Mirror have been heard going on and on about how he wants the Wolves winger, and by Jimmy he’s going to get him.