Central American finds fitting way to console opponent

I believe this intimate moment was captured during the 2002 World Cup match between Costa Rica and Turkey. If you believe otherwise, leave a comment below.

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Eastern Europeans perfect the art of hamstring stretching

This Turkish publication has grasped the concept of tongue-in-cheek Sporno with two firm hands: the underlined quote on the left hand side reads, “(Players of) Idmanyurdu are training hard,” while the right hand side reads “players seem to be ambitious during training”.

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Also appearing on a computer near you…

David Beckham is bland and boring an interviewer’s dream
[The Offside Rules]

Cristiano Ronaldo is buying a house in a fancy Madrid suburb
[Caught Offside]

chickendinner present ten reasons why Spain will win Euro 2008
[chickendinner]

Lewis Hamilton out and about with Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger
[Grid Crasher]

Pictures from this week’s American charity game featuring Thierry Henry, Robbie Fowler et al
[Unprofessional Foul]

Wenger’s aggressive faxing paid off: Adebayor is staying at Arsenal. Maybe.
[Football 365]

UEFA could be sued for the Germany/ Turkey TV blackout incident
[101 Great Goals]

Iraq have disbanded their national team
[SportsbyBrooks]

Unconvincing Germans make the final again

Once again, Adrien Brody’s Joachim Loew’s side managed to claw their way to their sixth European Champions final, despite being the second best team on the pitch last night.

Seeing as nature decided the worldwide audience didn’t deserve to see the Miroslav Klose goal that put Germany 2-1 up, you can check it out by clicking the box above.

Four nations battling to be the new Greece

Jens Lehmann has told the press he would ‘give his life’ to reach the final of Euro 2008: “I don’t want to go out in the semis again,” said the grumpy shot stopper. So if Die Deutschen make it through tonight and a certain Stuttgart keeper gets struck by lightning, we’ll know a deal with the devil went down.

Favourites Germany are just a few hours away from taking on Turkey in the first Euro 2008 semi, so it’s as good a time as any to ask you all who you think will win the tinny little Henri Delaunay trophy. Votes and comments below, please folks.

These men stepped up to the plate, brought their A game, gave it 110 per cent etc…

As everyone knows, the semi finals and finals of important competitions are an appalling waste of time. Everyone’s too frightened to touch the ball, to the point where grown men just gather around staring at each other, too paranoid to even speak. Hence, the team of the tournament has been chosen based on the real football that The Spoiler has already witnessed…

GK Iker Casillas (Spain)
For single handedly snatching football glory away from the Italians, and looking a little bit like a child attempting to grow a beard. Out-goallied Buffon.

DL Yuri Zhirkov (Russia)
Once you’ve finished rolling around on the floor in hysterics because his name sounds a little bit like “jerk off”, you’ll notice that he’s been a prince amongst left backs. Brilliant.

DC Giorgio Chiellini (Italy)
Whilst it made for the most face-scratchingly boring non-England match since Glasgow Women’s Deaf and Dumb Wheelchair Team took on the local hospice’s Coma XI, don’t forget that the Italian defence was brilliant. Particularly this man.

Euro 2008 quarter-final, 7.45pm, BBC1, bet here

Having successfully avoided a quarter-final clash with Germany, the most successful side in Euro history, the Turks now face in-form Croatia. Unfortunately, this looks to be the end of the road for the Eurasians, as the Croats, powered by Slaven Bilic’s powerful rocket sauce, will make the semis. Oh well, at least they got to make Petr Cech look like a clown before bowing out.
Why Croatia will win

* Croatia have never lost to Turkey.

* Turkey have faced Croatia once before at the European Championships, in 1996, and Croatia triumphed 1-0.

* Croatia have won all three games so far at the European Championships.

* Turkey have never led a match with Croatia, on the two times they drew they have come from behind.

* Turkey may have excelled against Switzerland and Czech Republic but they have won just four of their last eight.

* Croatia have lost just one of their 17 competitive games since losing to Brazil at the World Cup - a 2-0 loss in Macedonia after they’d already secured Euro 2008 qualification.

But it might go to penalties…

* Two of the three previous Croatia/Turkey clashes have

Which Spaniard deserves a smacked bottom?

Big tournaments always seperate the wheat from the chaff, the goats from the sheep, the real heroes from the posers wearing drainpipes etc. And this year has been no different. Going in, everyone was blathering about Ronaldo, and saying things like “it could be France’s year, seriously, I just know it”. How wrong those idiots were.

Make no mistake, it’s been a great tournament, and there is still time for some big names to become great again, but for now, The Spoiler barometer has cast it’s aspersions. Don’t fight it, drink it in.

Topping the table with a phenomenol run is Valencia’s David Villa - a man who can somehow make time to fashion a pencil beard and score four goals for Spain. He has left Torres in the shade. To think he was going to go to Tottenham. Hilarious.

Also on the up and up is Russia’s revelation Andrei Arshavin, one of the Zenit St Petersburg crop. His lofty Russian wages won’t scare off the bigger names in Europe post-tournament, so expect to hear much more from him.

Those two are joined in the top half of the barometer by Wesley Sneijder - the pick of the excellent Holland team - and Turkey’s Nihat Kahveci, who scored probably the best goal so far against Petr Cech, supposedly the best goalkeeper in the world.

Sliding down towards the other end is Germany’s Klose - tipped

It’s all quiet on the rumour and gossip front today, folks

It’s a slow day transfer-wise, but we are pleased to announce that the podgy Egyptian forward Mido is no longer on the Marlon Brando career path. After apologising to Boro fans for weighing more than a medium sized aircraft last season, he has shed two stone. Bravo, sir.

Elsewhere, a former Newcastle player could be heading for military combat, and Lamps is still deciding if he should run off into the sunset with the Special One…

Emre Belezoğlu to the army
The Newcastle midfielder was depressed enough about the prospect of going back to Turkey to play for Fenerbahce, but now he may miss out on football altogether as he is wanted by his country’s army.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Who are they at war with anyway?

Alexander Hleb to Barcelona
It looks like Hleb’s heart is set on a move to quiet, peaceful Barcelona after feeling violated by the harshness of noisy London. (It’ll be fantastic when he realises the Spanish city is pretty much the noisiest place in the world.)

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Looks like he’s ready to pull a Reyes

Frank Lampard to Inter
Chelsea would love to give him £135,000-a-week but soon-to-be-30 Frank Lampard wants it for four straight years, while

Czechs crash out due to keeper’s temporary rubbishness

Thoroughly dependable shot stopper Petr Cech momentarily experienced a condition known as ‘Paul Robinson-itis’ last night, as he gifted Turkey a victory and a place in the quarter-finals.

The Chelsea keeper was man enough to take full blame for the defeat, and Chelsea Pies are even suggesting the blunder was a good thing, as scouts from the likes of Inter Milan will have been scared off.

Cech’s mistake wasn’t the only example of ‘interesting’ goalkeeping this weekend - did anyone notice Edwin van der Saar’s volleyball-style wrist punch thing he did on Friday night?

Portugal move on, Switzerland first to be evicted

“What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?” The words of Futurama ship captain Zapp Brannigan will be no doubt be echoing in the minds of Switzerland’s inoffensive natives, who were booted out of their own tournament by a late Turan strike last night.

Elsewhere, Chelsea boss Luiz Felipe Scolari led his adopted home nation to the knockout stages with a solid victory ove Petr Cech’s Czechs.

Invaded nation witnesses superb long range effort

The best goal of the European Championships thus far is undoubtedly Pepe’s opener against Turkey on Saturday, but elsewhere in the world an even more impressive strike hit the onion bag. The video above is from a World Cup qualifier between Australia and Iraq, where the latter’s Emad Mohammed banged one in from 35 yards.

Impressive stuff, particularly as the Aussies were one of the first nations to send troops to the conflictuous nation and they only pulled out last week.

[The Beautiful Game]