Second-half free-kick hands Kinnear his first loss

… then check out this Kung Fu expert

In his first Tyne-Wear derby, dangerous criminal Joey Barton put in an absolutely disgraceful challenge on Sunderland’s Dickson Etuhu. The role-model-in-the-making midfielder is preparing to be thrown back into the fray this weekend - let’s hope he hasn’t been spending his time away learning tackling techniques from the chap in black and white in the video above.

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With Newcastle on the ropes, Sunderland know this is their best chance in eight years to finish above their fierce rivals. However, for the first time in months, Newcastle have started putting up a fight and they are likely to pack an even bigger punch with Joey Barton back in the squad.

Here’s why the folks at chickendinner believe Joe Kinnear is going to pick up his first win as Newcastle boss:

1. Newcastle are unbeaten in their last nine clashes with Sunderland.

2. Sunderland have never beaten Newcastle at the Stadium of Light. Their last home victory over them came back in 1980.

3. Newcastle have won on three of their last four visits to Wearside

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Newcastle “welcome” Sunderland this weekend, extending the hand of friendship to their near neighbours with the same warmth the people of Portsmouth showed when alerted of a paedophile in their midst a few years ago (and, as legend has it, a paediatrician. Near enough.) Crude daubings, scary chants and finger-across-the-throat-gestures should be the order of the day, which conveniently masks the fact that this is the highlight of Newcastle’s season. While Kevin Keegan may have successfully completed Task A - avoid the drop - his recipe for success still seems to be based on his enthusiasm “rubbing off” on the players, an almost medieval faith in these sports-scientific times. If Wisey and the rest of Mike Ashley’s mates don’t get busy in the transfer market this summer, and they’ve yet to show they know what they are doing, then the manager’s enthusiastic rubbings alone are not going to lift them toward glory, and this fixture will be their Cup Final for the next few years at least. The Wager suggests the trophy should be a bucket with a hole in it.

The statistics

* Kevin Keegan has managed Newcastle in four Tyne-Wear derbies and has won every time.

*Sunderland have failed to score in thirteen matches this season - only Derby have