Hang on, who’s that little guy with the scar?

Bayern Munich general manager Uli Hoeneß has today told Bild that he would sell Franck Ribery to Real Madrid only if an offer of €100m was made.

We’re not ones to start conspiracy theories, but it is possible that the Germans have already done a deal with the La Liga side, replacing him with a tiny replica in the hope that no one would notice?

French prankster set to join Spanish giants

You can grip him as hard as you like Uli, but he’s not going to stay

Real Madrid have made no secrets of their desire to land Franck Ribery in the closed season, and reports in Spain this morning suggest that they have beaten Manchester Utd for his signature.

According to daily Madrid sports paper As, the handsome French midfielder has “confirmed” to his agent that he is willing to accept an offer from Los Blancos. (We put “confirmed” in quotation marks because the Spanish report uses the word in its’ title, but fails to actually gain official confirmation from the player himself.)

Ribery agent Alain Migliaccio also represents the Bayern Munich star’s close personal friend Zinedine Zidane, who will  take charge of Madrid’s international relations if (when) Florentino Perez wins the elections (could they have picked a less friendly person to be in charge of international relations?).

Apparently, Zizou has already persuaded Ribery