Spurned WAG Nereida Gallardo dishes more dirt on Madrid star

Nereida Gallardo - the perma-naked Spanish beauty who helped Cristiano Ronaldo occupy his free time last summer - faced the worrying prospect of falling out of the public eye after losing her WAG status. Rather than adopting the Danielle Lloyd model of extending her moment in the sun (i.e. boffing her way through an entire team), the 26-year-old Majorcan has chosen to repeatedly cash in on her romance with the Portuguese man-o’-sex.

As a riposte to the humiliating way in which she was dumped, Nereida has continued to furnish us with personal details that are embarrassing, but not in the least bit surprising. The Mirror brings us the latest:

She says [his favourite underwear is] a pair of tight red pants with an elephant’s trunk on the front… but that they don’t quite fit him. She said:

“He puts his willy where the elephant’s face is. But he doesn’t fill its trunk. During our time together

The Walk of Fame never looked so good

Somehow, we never saw the Living TV’s stupidly-named 2007 Abbey and Janice: Beauty and the Best. The premise of the show was that mouthy has been Janice Dickinson took Abbey Clancy under her wing, in a quest to help the young WAG become a supermodel in the States. In reality, however, it was just a gigantic excuse to get Abbey into as many different sets of lingerie as possible. A gigantic, brilliant excuse.

Take a look at Mrs Peter Crouch’s underdressed exploration of Hollywood Boulevard above, then peruse her lingerie fitting and bikini photoshoot from the same show. It’s what the intertubes were made for.

[Dirty Tackle]

Lineker’s favourite lady strips down for Maxim… 

She’s the WAG that just won’t quit. It’s been a busy week for Gary Lineker’s latest sexual partner, Danielle Bux, what with wedding plans, opening up knicker shops, and now this - a massive spread in gentleman’s favourite Maxim.

See how the saucy shoot ended up after the jump…

This woman is BUSY…

Only yesterday we were tipped off that Lineker’s latest bed partner had been zipping around the shops arranging her important marriage to Sir Gary, so you’d assume that today would be spent in bed - exhausted. But no, this is one WAG that never stops. She was up at the crack of dawn ritually smearing oil into Gary’s legs, before heading into London to open a lingerie shop called La Senza. Phew!

See what girls in knickers look like after the jump…

The supporting lady of Bayern’s new number one

At the end of last season, 187-year-old Oliver Kahn finally hobbled away from his 14-year tenure between the sticks at Bayern Munich, making room for a young shot stopper named Michael Rensing. Kahn set an excellent precedent in the blonde WAG department with Verena Kerth, and Rensing has followed suit, finding himself a ‘Schöne Mädchen’ befitting of the German Champions’ number one. According to our good friends at Bild, the keeper is stepping out with underwear model Saskia Treffkorn.

Handsomely-impaired striker wants to be more like Beckham et al

Despite the new season being just over a week away, there is relatively little exciting news going on in the mainstream press. Accordingly, The Sun today ran a full page detailing how Carlos Tevez is convinced he could be an underwear model like David Beckham and Freddie Ljunberg, but admits he is let down by the fact that he looks like a big wet dog. Is this story really worthy of our attention? Couldn’t anybody be an underwear model if they, well, looked like an underwear model?

The best part of the non-story, however, is the weak grasp Carlos Tevez holds on what it takes to advertise pants in a homoerotic nature:

“I don’t have the same marketable image as a Ronaldo or a Lionel Messi.”

Yes, you read that correctly, he aspires to look like countryman Leo Messi, the same gentleman whose sexy poses made this ‘lingerie’ look less appealing than a night out with Craig Bellamy.

Um, did she really just do that?

Ms Jankovic adopts the classic ’schoolboy in the swimming pool changing rooms’ towel technique to slip off her keks at Roland Garros, but I’m so shocked my monocle just fell out. It’s the third one I’ve lost this week. I simply must stop being so astonished.

[WithLeather]

Barcelona star should probably stick to the dayjob

When underwear manufacturers select a spokesperson and model from the world of football, they usually side with someone whose good looks and chiselled features best highlight their product. The Adonis-like bodies of David Beckham and Freddie Ljungberg are fine examples of this slightly homoerotic marketing technique.

Argentinean underwear producers Lody have not quite understood this principle, and have attempted to cut into the Calvin Klein/ Armani market share by employing the services of Leo Messi, a man whose face makes young children cry. Something tells me the slouch pose and baggy t-shirt combo will probably not have the punters rushing to emulate the greasy-haired forward. And is it me, or does it look like he’s been wearing those pants for about four days?

Still, he’s obviously doing something right, as he’s managed to land himself a Playboy model.

More slightly disturbing images after the jump.