Perhaps one day someone will start a sentence with “there’s an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman” without it being a joke about people in boxes saying “potatoes” - it could even be used to introduce a Great British football line up. How wonderful would that be? Although, of course, the Irishman would have to come from the less green-grassy part of the emerald isle, and more the cobbled street bit where horses run wild (that’s the north, right?). Until that day, though, we’re going to have to content ourselves by gazing jealously at the other countries who get to call their footballers Olympians. Here’s eleven to keep a hungry eye on this year…
GK Brad Guzan, USA
Aston Villa’s (other) new American goalkeeper called Brad, the USA’s decision to make him one of their three over-23 players - he turns 24 during the tournament - shows just how great he is. That, of course, will count for nothing when he gets to Villa and warms the bench for the next decade, as Friedel becomes steadily more decrepit but still brilliant.
DL Marcelo, Brazil
Real Madrid signed the left wing-back in 2007 and he became a regular starter last season, pushing Gabriel Heinze into the centre. Unsurprisingly, he gets compared to Roberto Carlos - everyone does - and found the net on his international debut against Wales.
DC Vincent Kompany, Belgium
For those who spend their weekends playing Football Manager instead of talking to girls, you already know this guy, he’s one of the best buys in the game, damn it! And as it turns out, the 22-year-old isn’t too shabby in real life either. Right now he’s at Martin Jol’s Hamburg, and The Spoiler’s computerised West Ham.
DC Ezequiel Garay, Argentina
With all the Ronaldo talk this summer, Garay’s arrival at the
As with politics and snack foods, America likes to think it is number one when it comes to the Olympics. Host nation China, however, look all set to dispute their sovereignty by claiming the most Golds in Beijing…
America’s gold medal haul is on the slide. In 1996, they won forty-four gold medals but in Athens four years ago, they ended the Games with just thirty-six.
China (1.4) are getting closer. In 1996, they finished with twenty-eight fewer gold medals than the USA. In 2000, they ended nine behind the Americans and four years ago China ended the Olympics just four golds back.
But you can’t write off the Americans. China may be catching them on the gold front but in 2004, the USA won 66 silver and bronze medals combined compared to China’s 31. That means the USA are a lot closer to increasing their gold haul and have far more opportunities to do so than the hosts.
Russia(60) have been consistent performers, winning between twenty-six and thirty-two golds in the last three Olympic Games. However, no country in the last ten Olympics has topped the gold medal table with fewer than thirty-six golds.
Luol Deng is bringing home plenty of the good paper
Luol Deng is a 23-year-old forward who entered the NBA draft in 2004, and has since been plying his trade with the Chicago Bulls. Deng was born in Sudan, but when his family claimed political asylum he moved to South Norwood, where he narrowly avoided becoming a Crystal Palace fan and chose to follow Arsenal.
He moved to the US to play netball when he was 14, and yesterday signed a six-year deal with the Bulls that should line his pockets with £40m, almost twice the basic salary David Beckham is earning in Los Angeles. (Although Mr B is likely to earn much more than this because of his tendency to hawk underwear, fizzy drinks and marker pens.)
Who produces the world’s finest WAGs - America, or Europe?
This is all getting a bit too easy. For the third day running, Europe’s WAGs have thoroughly embarrassed their American counterparts. Even our burger munching chums across the pond at On205th decided Cheryl Cole was hotter than NBA WAG Eva Longoria by a margin of nearly 90 per cent. So, we go into the fourth day of the tournament with a convincing 3-0 lead.
Today, Playboy centrefold and NFL WAG Jennifer Walcott faces stiff competition from Sweden’s equally-pneumatic Oksana Andersson, ladyfriend of Christian Wilhelmsson…
Let’s not mince our words - some things about America are brilliant. They’ve given us cheeseburgers (pictured), The Wire, James Brown, sex scandals, trainers, plastic surgery, meat on a stick, wise cracking children, cheerleaders and war. But, that’s no excuse to ever let them host a football World Cup again. Here’s a list of reasons why that would be a rubbish idea:
1. They HATE football
Rather arrogantly, they play the baseball “World Series” every year, ignoring the fact that the rest of the world prefers a slower version called rounders (great for a flirtatious summer picnic, by the way). But basketball is their number one - essentially giants playing catch. Also high on their radar is American Football, golf, athletics, and gentlemen wrestling in leotards. Real football barely even computes.
