It’s FC Bunyodkor’s Gene Hackman look-alike Luiz Felipe Scolari!

Since arriving in Italy, Jose Mourinho’s €11m salary has cemented his status as the best paid manager in the world. This morning, however, it has been revealed that The Special One’s huge remuneration package has been eclipsed by that of another Chelsea alumnus. After signing an eighteen-month contract with Uzbekistani side FC Bunyodkor, Big Phil Scolari will now take home an annual pay packet of €13m.

Bunyodkur - who recently changed their name from PFC Kuruvchi to “reflect their success” - first came to international prominence last summer, when they claimed to have secured the services of Samuel Eto’o. Despite the Cameroonian’s passionate love for clubs who are willing to pay him more money than he is worth, the deal never went through.

Since the Eto’o spectacle, Bunyodkur have introduced several Brazilians to their side,

World Cup winning manager joins the prestigious Uzbek League

Last summer, an Uzbek side named PFC Kuruvchi tried to make us believe they had signed Samuel Eto’o, and then raised a few eyebrows when they invited Cesc Fabregas, Andres Iniesta and Carles Puyol to train with them.

Since then, PFC have changed their name to FC Bunyodkor (to reflect their professionalism on the pitch, apparently), and acquired the services of 37-year-old World Cup cheat Rivaldo (for a ridiculous £80,000 a week) and manager Zico.

Zico departed for CKSA Moscow in January, leaving the head coach’s position wide open. According to the Brazilian press, Luiz Felipe Scolari has stepped up and signed an 18-month contract with the club.

Scolari explained

Australian demonstrates lack of tolerance…

Go anywhere on the planet, and you’ll see that animals are treated differently. In areas of the North Pole some of them are given jobs, and even in this country we build them little houses - or “hutches”, if you will. In Australia, however, it seems people are less tolerant of anything furry or feathered. Lucas Neill proved as much against Uzbekistan last night, when an innocent young owl/dove/crow wandered mindlessly onto a football pitch, only to find the burly West Ham man in no mood for inter-species relations.

He kicked the ball right at it.

For another take on things, go to Off The Post.

Clearly everybody wants a piece of the PFC Kuruvchi action

Arsenal fans who scoffed at yesterday’s suggestion that Cesc Fabregas may be joining Barcelona in the future may want to consider a thin slither of humble pie with their coffee this morning, as the Spanish super sub has followed in the footsteps of Samuel Eto’o and travelled out to give a master-class to Uzbekistani side PFC Kuruvchi.

Joining him were Barcelona Spain teammates Andreas Iniesta and Carles Puyol, and judging by the pictures above, the Tashkent side were handing out honorary degrees from the University of Madeupsville to try and persuade the Spaniards to stay.

Over to the barely-readable scrawlings of our friends at PFC:

Spain national team players Andreas Iniesta, Carles Puyol and Cesc Fabregas shown master-class today in MHSK stadium. As yo know “Quruvchi” PFC have already organised master class with Cameroon national team player Samuel Eto’O and today Uzbek football fans could see master class with Spain football stars. As you can seen on photos boys who study in “Quruvchi” PFC football school were very glad to see world football stars and master class was very useful for them too.

Obviously, the common thread that tiess these players is Spain, but the Barcelona link is also quite prevalent, particularly as Fabregas replaced Xavi on the trip to the former Soviet nation.

[TIET]

Oh boy, it looks like he’s really going through with it

Earlier this week, we told you how Uzbekistani team PFC Kuruvchi were convinced they would be signing unwanted Barcelona star Samuel Eto’o. At approximately 6.30 this morning, that crazy dream came a lot closer to reality, as the 27-year-old arrived in the capital Tashkent, accompanied by Barcelona representatives and the worst pair of shoes of all time. Over to the English Language fans at Kuruvchi:

At International Airport of Tashkent visitors have been met with big crowd of fans Kuruvchi.

After the Airport next point was directly to InterContinental-Tashkent Hotel, were they have been replaced.

Next assembly in graphic for delegation - rest, breakfast, visit Uzbekistan Football Federation office and meeting with management of UFF and visiting sights of capital city especially historical complex “Khazrati-Imam” and lunch. At 14:30 in the hotel InterContinental-Tashkent in the hall Crystal will be press conference with Eto’O for mass media.

According to my huge time zone calculator, the press conference referred to above should have happened by now, and Eto’o should be proudly posing with the jersey of the team nobody had heard of before Monday.

In the meantime, Spanish rag Sport are claiming that the super-rich Asians will pay Eto’o €40m. They don’t say the period over which this money will be distributed, but they do say it is the highest amount ever to be payed to a footballer.

[More pictures and terrible grasp of English here]

Borat isn’t going to like this

A few weeks ago, Barcelona striker Samuel Eto’o turned down a move to Tottenham Hotspur, reasoning that they are ‘a mid-table club and I need more’. The wantaway Cameroonian obviously heard that PFC Kuruvchi finished second in last year’s Uzbek League, as he has been anounced as a new signing on their extremely well-written website:

In addition, invited and signed contract with Cameroonian forward Samuel Eto’O from Barcelona. Striker will arrive to Tashkent on July 17th and will play in the second half of championship of Uzbekistan. In our view, this great football player you are all well known. But the greatest benefit from him staff of Kuruvchi waiting in the matches of AFC Champions League 2008.

Of course, Barcelona have laughed off claims that Eto’o will be moving to Uzbekistan on a six month contract, yet PFC are confident they have bagged the 27-year-old. They even claim that Barca, who have told Eto’o they don’t want him next season, have significantly lowered their £30m asking price due to the ‘personal friendship between presidents of the clubs.’

Check out PFC Kuruvchi’s official site here, where they also claim that Xavi, Puyol and Iniesta are heading over to the former Soviet nation. The club’s president, Lie McBullcrap, is currently unavailable for comment, and is said to be hiding away in his gum drop mansion at 123 Fake Street, in Tashkent’s wealthy Madeupsville suburb.