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The Offside bring us an incredible penalty rebound miss

West Ham are favourites against unbeaten MLS All-Stars tonight
[chickendinner]

Beijing improves its pre-Olympic public perception by banning blacks and Mongolians from one of its bars
[Deadspin]

Who the hell is… Valon Behrami?
[Pies]

Mmmm… American grid girls
[Grid Crasher]

Anna Kournikova brings her bikini to the beach
[On205th]

Ramon Calderon claims he doesn’t talk about footballers who don’t play for Real
[Football 365]

Yet another stupendously hot member of the Italian WAG circuit

Like so many stunning Italian WAGs before her (Letizia Filippi, Francesca Lodo, Martina Colombari, Francesca Chillemi, Vincenza Cacace and Elisabetta Gregoraci to name but a few), Sara Tommasi is a graduate of the much-lauded Miss Italy pageant. She was runner up in the 1998 competition, and soon moved on to bigger things. Well, at the very least she moved on to bigger boobs (which she displays rather frequently), and relationships with West Ham’s Valon Behrami (who’s now rutting former WOTD Elena Bonzanni) and Filippo Inzaghi (whose numerous trysts have included Aída Yéspica and Elena Barolo).

Upton Park is about to get a much-needed injection of glamour

According to the rumour vine, West Ham last night agreed terms with Lazio’s Swiss right-back Valon Behrami. This is great news for WAG fans, as the neutral one will almost certainly bring his long term girlfriend Elena Bonzanni with him. She is a 25-year-old model, and the fourth Italian beauty named ‘Elena’ to feature on WOTD (see Elenas Barolo, Santarelli and Grimadli). And don’t let the perspective of the picture above fool you: she doesn’t have unfeasibly large feet.

This morning’s rumours, gossip and damned lies

In a crushing blow for fans of overweight Brazilians, it is being reported on the AC Milan website that a deal has been agreed to bring Ronaldinho to the San Siro this coming season. Just to rub it in, it’s thought that Milan aren’t even offering Barca as much cash, and Ronny’s agent brother claimed he had negotiated a £25m deal with Citeh just yesterday. Still, it could all be a blessing in disguise - the podgy one, pictured above with AC Milan bigwig Adriano Galliani, would have undoubtedly capsized the trawler on the way to the Faroe Islands tomorrow…

Valon Behrami to West Ham
The right-back known as the “Swiss David Beckham” has invoked another weird contract clause that will allow West Ham to sign him for £1.5 million rather than the £11 million Lazio have demanded. It casts doubts over the future of captain Lucas Neill, who may ruin the party for City fans happy they avoided Ronaldinho.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: If the Daily Mail are actually printing something positive about West Ham, it must be true

Anton Ferdinand rejects Newcastle
Newcastle’s madcap scheme of basing their transfer recruiters in London hasn’t helped them bring in any defenders this summer. First, Richard Dunne decided he’d rather win his thousandth player of the season award at Man City and now Soulja Boy Ferdinand has decided that not even the Newcastle nightlife is enough to make playing with Joey Barton sound tempting.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: West Ham seem happy to lose Anton but he doesn’t want to go

Tal Ben-Haim to Man City
Slimeball Peter Kenyon is still laughing after flogging flop Steve Sidwell for £5 million