Brazilian striker learns the perils of minty fresh breath

Maybe he wanted to look cool, or maybe he has a frightening fear of halitosis, but Vasco da Gama striker Aloisio decided it would be a good idea to chew gum during a Brazilian second division match with Brasiliense on Tuesday night. His plan soon backfired, however, when he went up for an awkward aerial challenge, which left him unconscious and choking on his Wrigleys.

Fortunately, Vasco medics responded quickly:

“It was a very serious situation,” Vasco doctor Paulo Cesar Rocha said Wednesday. “Luckily, we identified the problem quickly and took the gum out to help him breathe again.”

After being whisked off in an ambulance (could you imagine an ambulance being allowed to drive on a Premier league pitch? The groundsmen would have kittens, and those kittens wouldn’t be allowed on the pitch) Alosio recovered in hospital, and has been barred from physical activity for a week as a precaution against his own stupidity.

[AP via Dirty Tackle]

Rotund Brazilian mocks defender without touching the ball

We can’t think of many Premiership defences that would let a ball remain stationary on the edge of their penalty area for over six seconds, but this is impressive stuff all the same.

[101GG]

Not the best clearance you’ll ever see…

Following a 1-1 draw with Icasa in the Copa do Brasil last night, Vasco da Gama defender Tiago was unhappy: “This result is like a defeat for us. We did everything badly.”

Vasco may have underperformed, but none of their players had a bad night quite like Icasa keeper Ari, who came out too far for a set piece and ended up turning the ball into his own net.

[Dirty Tackle]

Over-reaction to relegation nearly ends badly

For the first time in their 110 year history, four-time league champions Vasco da Gama were relegated from Campeonato Brasileiro Série A. Feeling that he couldn’t live without the excitement of top flight football, one fan decided to climb atop the roof of the Estádio São Januário with the intention of meeting his maker.

Fortunately, he is seized by police and an inexplicably shirtless man before the 36,000 crowd had something else to be unhappy about.

[Deadspin]