Loathe him or hate him, there’s no ignoring that Ashley Cole is having a tremendous week. Last night his team finally made it past Liverpool in the Champions League semi finals, and earlier in the week, the discerning young lesbians who enjoy Gay-Parship.co.uk voted his lovely singing wife the sexiest WAG they’d most like to be lesbian with.

Steven Gerrard’s bottle blonde wife bulldozed into second place ahead of Victoria Beckham, who hasn’t had the same impact on the gay community as husband David. He came second in the men’s vote.

[Kickette]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Brazilian footballer arrested in India for being too rich
[The Offside]

Robospice is joining the Pussycat Dolls
[This Is Extra Time]

Ten predictions for the forthcoming Spanish Grand Prix
[Grid Crasher]

Spain won’t be banned from Euro 2008 after all
[Euro 2008 Blog]

Will Alex Ferguson’s son take over at Manchester Utd?
[chickendinner Bet Blog]

Tolerates Arsenal star’s looks and off-the-field antics

The modern WAG has to put up so much nonsense. Their partners work weekends, use up all their energy on the pitch and spend all their time at home playing Halo and trash talking Japanese school children. Tomas Rosicky’s missus suffers much more than others - not only must she look at the mysteriously-injured star’s funny face, but had to go through a humiliating ordeal when he ‘partied’ with the Czech Republic team and six hookers. Radka Kocurova, you’re clearly a very forgiving woman.

The LA Galaxy experiment must have left Beckham feeling pretty fed up. The team consistently under-performs, his only friend away from the pitch has a Hitler haircut and keeps making the same joke about aliens bombing volacanos, and now the wife has got her own friends.

Many people would argue that Kate Beckinsale isn’t strictly a WAG, and in many ways those people would be absolutely right. Mainly because, technically - if you’re really nit-picking - she isn’t a WAG. She’s married to some kind of cigar smoking movie man, the director Len Wiseman. But the big news is that she is POSH SPICE’S new best pal. That makes her an honorary WAG, so ner!

It’s what Jesus would have wanted

With Easter Sunday approaching, every supermarket in the land is packed to the rafters with thousands of generic excuses to end your forty days of abstinence with an orgy of chocolate and queasiness. But if you fancy something a little different to celebrate the life and times of that crazy Jesus guy, why not head to master chocolatiers Thorntons, who have this year marked the most sacred of Christian festivals by producing creepy Posh and Becks easter eggs in the name of charidee. Also available

Have Britain’s top celebrities grown sick of the taste of glitter?

It feels like David and Victoria Beckham have hardly been in LA for long enough to get the curtains up in the spare room, but if a report in OK! magazine is to be believed – and why wouldn’t it? – they are already suffering from that crippling syndrome that can hit celebrity and riff-raff alike: boredom.

“He’d be very happy if someone would buy out his Galaxy contract,” a source helpfully whispered to the magazine, as he would like to be closer to his family. Heaven knows the idea of five years of nitwit celebrities chewing your ear off about their silly projects is not one that anyone this side of sanity should be expected to endure, but while we’re on the subject of people in their right mind, who does he think is going to take over that NASA-sized contract?

Adding to the desire to return to the UK,

Reality star has had her WAG dream cruelly snatched from her

The UK media’s hunger for all things Beckham has meant even those who attempt to imitate our celeb royalty get a great deal of coverage in the press. Hence, you will probably know of Chanelle Hayes, a 20-year-old who appeared on last year’s Big Brother with the intention of emulating her heroine Posh Spice. Last week she moved one step closer to the lifestyle of her idol, as she officially became the WAG of Middlesbrough defender Seb Hines.

Today, however, it appears that her lifelong WAG ambition has been put on hiatus, as details of Hines’ pregnant live-in girlfriend and two-year-old daughter have emerged. Funny, you’d think that kind of thing would have come up in conversation on the first date…

Like the Duke of Edinburgh, David Beckham always looks like a man struggling to understand what every single thought that goes through his head really means. The world is too damn confusing for these people. But, the similarities don’t end there. The prince of football now shares similar hotel tastes to the famously racist royal.

When his wife, Posh, booked in to do some New York shows with her pop group, The Spice Girls, rather than stay in humble(ish) digs downtown like the rest of the girls, she demanded to be put up in the

Nutty couple change their names and face the consequences

Meet the couple formerly known as Gerard and Elizabeth Donnely, who in 2003 had the bright idea of changing their names to David and Victoria Beckham. The duo from Belfast, who are dead ringers for their namesakes, found their little joke hilarious at first, but then things started to turn a bit ugly:

All the ground windows at the front of their Tullymore Gardens home - which proudly displays a plaque with the house name Beckingham Palace - have been smashed and the couple are so worried about further attacks that they said they will not be removing the wooden boarding that is currently securing the house.