Former Wimbledon hardman will pound you into shape

It appears that prolific actor Vincent Peter Jones has turned his attention to the lucrative weight loss programme market. There are probably plenty of other things he could be doing with his time, but how is a chap supposed to progress his career when he has already delivered one of the greatest lines ever delivered in cinematic history? It’s all downhill from there, Vinnie.[Funny or Die via Dirty Tackle]

Chelsea boss made big screen debut as evil commie footballer

[Skip to 4.20 to see some De Niro-esque acting from Ancelotti]

When The Spoiler thinks of slightly duff films based around football matches, Escape to Victory and Mean Machines immediately spring to mind. Now, however, the 1983 Italian film Don Camillo has officially entered the canon-o’-crap, and it has been brought to our attention thanks to a starring appearance by Chelsea gaffer Carlo Ancelotti.

In this morning’s Sun, the Champions League winning manager sheds some light on his big screen debut:

“In Don Camillo, I play for a communist football team owned by the village mayor Peppone, the great rival of Don Camillo. It was just a football match between angels and demons. I was really happy to be in this film as Don Camillo was born in Brescello, just 10 kilometres from where I was born.”

As you can see in the clip above (which was sought out by our handsome friends at Off The Post), Ancelotti plays for a team of nasty commie Devils in the film, and makes a substitute appearance in the game along with fellow former pros Luciano Spinosi and Roberto Pruzzo.

The whole thing looks camper than a row of tents filled with men dressed like Cristiano Ronaldo, but Ancelotti’s onscreen talents certainly seem to eclipse those of Vinnie Jones.

Cheslea striker could be the new (talented version of) Vinnie Jones

One may think that Nicolas Anelka’s favourite hobby outside of the beautiful is moaning, but the Frenchman actually holds a passion for the performing arts. He told us last month that he fancied himself as Chelsea’s resident stand up comedian (see his hi-larious Seinfeld-esque quip about a man in a bar here) and now he has revealed he wants to become an actor:

“After football, maybe we will see an Oscar in the Anelka trophy cabinet.

“I like action men. I think I’d like to be the bad man in a movie. Like Vinnie Jones? Ha ha! He’s good.”

Anelka has already displayed his DeNiro-esque acting chops in 2002’s “Wildly inconsistent” French film Le Boulet. Quite how he prepared fot he role of ‘Nicolas the soccer player’ is anyone’s guess.

[The Sun]

Footage of hardman’s latest scrap finally surfaces

As you undoubtedly saw in the papers this morning, for some reason, Vinnie Jones found himself in a South Dakota bar, and took great offence at someone suggesting he was the chap in X-Men 3. Angered that he wasn’t remembered for roles in She’s The Man and The Other Half (I have no idea either, but it has Danny Dyer in it so it must be good), the former Wimbledon star got into a fight. We join the video when Jones has already been “glassed” by an overweight gentleman.

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