The reason for one of the worst tattoos ever

Despite sexy competition from the likes of Michaela Henderson-Thynne, Nicola Tappenden, Elle Isaac and Jadene Bircham, Krystell Sidwell was voted the best supporting lady in ITV2 series WAGs Boutique.

The young blonde met Aston Villa’s Steve Sidwell ten years ago while at school, and clearly made an impression on him - following their wedding in 2005, he had their 100 word wedding vows tattooed on his back.

The newlywed who could become a newlydivorced very soon

Late last year, Sunderland striker Rocky Michael Chopra (yes, that is his first name) announced that he had become engaged to girlfriend Heather Swan. Their relationship was cemented by the birth of their first son Sebastian Rocco Thomas Chopra in February of this year, and they enjoyed a lavish £250,000 wedding ceremony last month.

Instead of heading off on their Barbados honeymoon to begin a life of wedded bliss, however, they publicly fought like cat and dog, and Chopra stormed home leaving Heather alone in paradise. Since then, the one-month marriage has taken a turn for the worse, and Chopra is reported to be living in rented accommodation.

World Cup WAG isn’t just a pretty face

Sadly, the rumour vine informs us that Middlesbrough winger Stewart Downing recently ended his four year relationship with WAGs Boutique ‘star’ Michaela Henderson-Thynne, although her Bebo page suggests they are still very much an item. On the social networking site, the brainy 22-year-old tells us she has five A Levels and is studying for a law degree. despite her book smarts, Michaela’s favourite pastime is to ‘cuddle up with Stew’ and watch DVDs of Roy Chubby Brown and Catherine Tate (and we thought Micah Richards had terrible taste). Her Bebo page also boasts comments from WAG friends Alex Curran and Anara Atanes.

Page Three girl returns to the top flight with a brand new partner

Nicola Tappenden (or ‘Nicola T, 25, from Croydon’, as you may know her) enjoyed the WAG lifestyle for two years with West Ham’s Bobby Zamora, but in 2007 she finally she packed up the giant picture of her breasts that hung above their bed, accusing the striker of being unfaithful. This season, however, Nicola will be making a glorious return to the Premiership on the arm of Hull City fiancé Simon Walton. [Looks like she won’t be back in the Prem just yet, as Walton’s loan spell at Hull has just ended - Ed.]

Crystal Palace’s greatest contribution to Waggery, society

Anyone who has sat in the rickety wooden stand above the Player’s Lounge at Selhurst Park will know it’s not the most glamorous place in the world, yet you may frequently find WAGs Boutique star Elle Isaac sitting there, drinking in the crisp Croydon air. She met Palace and Barbados midfielder Paul Ifill while working as a bar manager in Brighton during her university holidays, and they had a daughter named Romy in 2006.

Discriminatory Facebooking has put Mrs Marc Bircham under scrutiny

Hate-monger Danielle Lloyd has just about managed to drag herself clear of the racism row of Celebrity Big Brother, but now another WAG appears to have fallen into the bigotry fray. Thirty-four-year-old Jadene Bircham, wife of semi-Canadian Yeovil midfielder Marc, has appeared in the red tops this week for joining a Facebook group called: “”If you don’t like England then f**k off back to where you came from!” Topics in the group, which has now been closed, included ‘Does anyone find Muslim females attractive?’ and ‘Black ethnic groups are more likely to be criminal’. Jadene has defended herself with the following statement:

“I’m not going to lie to you, I read it and thought it would be quite funny but I didn’t even bother having a good look at it. I do agree that if you come to this country and you don’t like it, then fair enough, you shouldn’t be here. I’m going to be leaving the group, I didn’t realise what was on there.”

Just when everyone had stopped hating Terry and co, this happens

The unending circle of pain caused by England flopping out of Euro 2008 has even reached the doorstep of the dear old WAGs - the innocent women with brilliant hair who have spent the last few weeks keeping their disappointed husbands/boyfriends chipper with their non-stop talk of strappy shoes, and plans to launch a new clothing line.

The kind of women who deserve medals, not punishment!

And yet, instead of getting the fame and adulation they deserve, the WAGs have had to suffer the humiliation of their beloved WAGs Boutique being closed down, because England’s failure has forced bitter television execs to deem the the show far too uninteresting for a 2008 audience stripped of any worthwhile international football.

Instead, they will be running repeats of Rent-a-ghost (hopefully!).

Terry, Lamps and co should hang their revolting heads even lower with shame.

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