Page Three girl returns to the top flight with a brand new partner

Nicola Tappenden (or ‘Nicola T, 25, from Croydon’, as you may know her) enjoyed the WAG lifestyle for two years with West Ham’s Bobby Zamora, but in 2007 she finally she packed up the giant picture of her breasts that hung above their bed, accusing the striker of being unfaithful. This season, however, Nicola will be making a glorious return to the Premiership on the arm of Hull City fiancé Simon Walton. [Looks like she won’t be back in the Prem just yet, as Walton’s loan spell at Hull has just ended - Ed.]

Cardiff ’s hottest other half is making the most of her WAG status

Cardiff City’s Roger Johnson will face one of the biggest games of his career on Sunday, as his side challenge Middlesbrough for a place in the FA Cup semi-finals. The defender has already bagged five goals this season, and a sixth in front of a BBC1 audience and new model wife Melissa Johnson would be more than welcome by most neutral fans.

Anyway, back to the task at hand: Melissa is a 24-year-old model/fitness instructor/freelance make-up artist who actually designed the smalls she is sporting in these pictures. And yes, she is a fan of little pink bows.

They don’t want shiny things that sparkle, they want a DVD of WAGs sweating in Lycra

This Christmas Eve the streets will not only be blessed with the distant sounds of children butchering beautiful carols. If you listen carefully, you’ll hear the racing of tapping heels as a million orange people with dead straight hair clatter towards Woolies to get their hands on the WAG’s Workout DVD.

Starring WAGs Nicola T, Lisa Munday and another one, the forty-five minutes they spend building up a sweat, smiling as they thunder through the pain barrier is truly inspiring. Of course, Nicola T is the stunning Page 3 girl who used to allow Bobby Zamora to body surf her curves at night time, and even granted him the courtesy of a framed picture of her naked breasts above his bed. This is one classy lady.

As well as the all-important get-yourself-fit bits, which guarantee that your wife/life-partner will lose the excess of turkey and sausages in bacon during the resulting weeks of guilt following Christmas lunch, there are also detailed sequences of the WAGs getting their nails done and enjoying a haircut.

Click here to buy a copy.

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