Celebrate Friday with an avalanche of inadvertent man love…

Cheers to Simon Bagel and eRe. The rest after the jump…

Also appearing on a computer near you…

The Spoiler might quit the day job and get into the growing “women’s football violence” industry [spotted on Dirty Tackle]

Really classy bunch at The Mirror - top 10 footballers who survived car crashes
[The Mirror]

Rafa Benitez is delirious
[Daily Mail]

The Premier League’s best benchwarmers
[Caught Offside]

Man City have their own pointless friendly, lose
[101 Great Goals]

‘R.O.I.’ and ‘France’ get into it, vis-a-vis executive boxes
[Off the Post]

Brazil friendly update: JT injured, Wayne Rooney could take the captain’s armb..ZzZzZzZz
[Football365]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

We’ve been waiting for this to appear on YouTube all week

Carlo Cudicini has suspected broken pelvis after motorbike accident
[Daily Mail]

Four players ‘Arry should shift to raise some Big Four-cracking cash
[Caught Offside]

Eureka! I think Rooney’s cracked it! - ‘We must improve to win World Cup’ :/
[Times]

Fergie handed two match touchline ban for boring everyone to death
[Guardian]

Judge tells Defoe ‘good luck for WC2010′, before handing 6 month driving ban
[Off The Post]

No Old Firm in the EPL after all
[The Sun]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

After this, and the one where he controls the ball dropped off a block of flats, I might just bother to watch ‘Wayne Rooney’s Street Striker’. Maybe. Probably not.

Football’s 10 best celeb fans. How did Justin Timberlake get to be friends with Alan Smith?
[Caught Offside]

Thailand’s national football team double their chances of dropping dead on the pitch
[FourFourTwo]

Posh gets David’s Christmas present early
[The Mirror]

For some reason there is consensus in the Newcastle boardroom that an email address is an adequate title for a stadium
[Journal Live]

Polish keeper sacked for making homophobic remarks in his autobiography - with a title like “Fucking Polack”, I guess controversy was to be expected
[Deadspin]

Swine flu masks to be handed out at Dynamo Kyiv vs Inter
[Football Italia]

Newbie managers hold English sides in Europe…

CSKA Moscow 3/ Manchester United 3

Leonid Slutsky’s (no laughing at the back) side took a surprise lead through Alan’s 25th minute strike, but were soon pegged back by a typically poached goal from Michael Owen. After going 3-1 down to a pair of all-too-easy goals from Milos Krasic and Vasili Berezutski, United staged a late rally - 84th minute late - with a Paul Scholes header and Antonio Valencia’s deflected equaliser.

Atletico Madrid 2/ Chelsea 2

Chelsea started the match ready to hammer an Atletico Madrid side, laughably shambolic on and off the pitch, who had nothing to play for. However, Atleti put in an admirable first-half performance, before Kun Aguero came on and smashed a 66th minute volley which stuck a massive middle finger up at any idea of a Blues rout.

Didier Drogba grabbed a late brace, but Aguero popped up again in injury time (with a free-kick that’ll add a few €m to his price tag in January) to grab a point.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Spectacular triple save from the crossbar

Roman Abramovich uses Chelsea’s unspent transfer kitty to run up an outrageous lunch bill
[News of the World]

Carlos Tevez forks out £2,000 for a copy of the infamous ‘Welcome to Manchester’ poster
[FourFourTwo]

Wayne Rooney names his new son … Kai Wayne
[Kickette]

The Sun couldn’t have made it more obvious they didn’t watch Arsenal/Spurs
[The Sun]

Perma-crock Stephen Appiah finally finds a club stupid enough
[The Offiside]

The FA are planning to steal Aaron Hunt from the Germans
[Daily Mail]

Manchester Utd star forced to apologise for rowdiness

On Monday night, The Spoiler was lucky enough to attend a Stereophonics Fan Club show at Camden’s intimate Electric Ballroom. The sound mix was perfect, the boyos resisted the urge to play too much new crap, and the new crap they did play was rather good (see video above).

Little did we know it, but we were also in the company of Wayne Rooney, who came down to foggy London town with his brother Graham and some friends to check out his favourite band. Those standing near the handsome Manchester Utd striker, however, were treated to some fabulously obnoxious behaviour. The Sun reports:

“Graham and the friend were bouncing around, knocking into people and spilling their pints.

“At one point a minor scuffle broke out. Wayne was taking people aside to excuse their antics.”

After apologising profusely for the conduct of his party, Rooney left the north London venue with a huge beer stain down his hoodie.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Even in pipe and slippers, Dennis Bergkamp has still got it

A Besiktas fan’s (amazingly accurate) gob caused Rooney’s hissy fit
[Daily Star]

Frank Arnesen’s time might finally be up
[Goal.com]

Mr Chelsea volunteers for a job no-one wants him to do
[The Mirror]

Slightly naive Carlos Tevez could be in for a surprise on Sunday
[The Telegraph]

Sylvie Van der Vaart stands about, looks lovely
[ONTD]

A week in the life of the World’s Angriest Goalkeeper
[Dirty Tackle]