She’ll be at West Ham/Everton on Sunday, get it moving…

Being a game sort of girl, big-chested faux-lesbian Katy Perry rocked up to last night’s MTV Europe Video Awards in this claret and blue ensemble, after a dare from her Hammers supporting boyfriend Russell Brand:

Wow. Now MY GIRLFRIEND has worn a West Ham basque while hosting the EMA’s. What a day! I might revive Gandhi and ask if he wants to be mates.

Yes I will be taking her to a game – West Ham Vs Everton. And, before it begins, no I won’t be taking her up the Arsenal. x

Hopefully this will give the West Ham board a bit of inspiration for their next replica shirt advertising campaign, after this summer’s nightmare-inducing Ray Winstone effort.

[spotted on Dirty Tackle]

Twitter news

As West Ham’s equaliser hit the old onion bag yesterday evening, the great Robert Earnshaw told the nation:

“A large portion of apple CRUMBLE for arsenal.”

Incidentally, Robert Earnshaw is the answer to one of football’s most notorious quiz questions. If you think you know what it is, let us know below…

For those who don’t care much for Panorama

If tonight’s Panorama, promising a gritty investigation into life on a Bristol estate, doesn’t appeal, some even grittier action is available on ESPN this evening. Hull did the double over Fulham last season, so Hodgson’s men will be hoping to take a tentative step on the recovery road back from such shame, by dealing with the Tigers tonight.

Sky Sports 1 at 7:30 is the place to be if you like your Premier League nostalgia, as Leeds host Norwich. Whilst for those curious to see how the younger members of Chelsea squad can defend the dead ball, Chelsea TV at 7 is the place to watch Chelsea Reserves vs West Ham reserves.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Fabio Cannavaro inspires the Five Worst Doping Excuses list
[Off The Post]

Sulley Muntari dismisses rumours of a Tottenham switch
[Goal.com]

As always, Sergio Ramos looks ri-god-damn-diculous
[Kickette]

Cheryl Cole is hot, confusing
[Dirty Tackle]

West Ham target Luca Toni wants a move to Napoli
[Daily Mail]

Bye bye Peter Taylor
[LMA]

Carlo Ancelotti backs his former employer Milan to improve, probably with a huge grin on his face
[The Mirror]

Celebrity Hammers fan perplexes Americans with football ritual

After calling George Bush a “retarded cowboy” and sharing some choice words about the Jonas Brothers’ lifestyle choices at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, Russell Brand was asked back to present the 2009 show. Thanks to the antics of detestable rapper Kanye West, the former Guardian football columnist went relatively unnoticed at this year’s show, but footage of the West Ham fan promoting it has been brought to The Spoiler’s attention.

In an interview with Jimmy Fallon (a popular yet unfunny comedian and talk show host with an irritating habit of laughing during his own jokes), the conversation turns towards West Ham, and Brand happily belts out chants commonly heard at the The Boleyn Ground, to the utter bemusement of the American audience.

Check out part two of the interview, which contains the raucous chants, after the jump…

Also appearing on a computer near you…

The Guardian Gallery takes a look at Fergie’s space-time continuum

Fergie’s managerial greatness questioned
[DJ Mick]

Portsmouth are unpaid and lovin’ it
[Dirty Tackle]

Are the aforementioned Portsmouth chasing after Rafa Benitez?
[Caught Offside]

David Beckham’s beard inspires a lazy beard compilation that we wish we had thought of first
[Daily Mail]

Hull hope to benefit from the Bullard bounce
[Betfair Football]

Gianfranco Zola could be tempted to Napoli
[The Telegraph]

Darren Bent reveals concern for the ozone and a love of Katy Perry
[ChannelBee]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Fergie helps to push Jonny Evans down the aisle during a press conference
[Off The Post]

Nereida Gallardo is on the cover of Portuguese Maxim
[Poprosa via Kickette]

Revealed: Roma’s terrifying new stadium
[Dirty Tackle]

Dallas have finally won at the Cowboys Stadium, and this couple were keen to celebrate (NSFW)
[Deadspin]

Carlos Tevez won’t be offering Utd fans the courtesy he showed West Ham
[Daily Mail]

Who actually owns Leeds Utd?
[The Guardian]

Luca Toni looks set to join West Ham in January
[The Telegraph]

The players who didn’t earn their loyalty bonuses

As anyone who has ever divorced will testify, sometimes it is necessary to call time on a big commitment. Footballers who sign big money contracts are no strangers to this maxim, but some jump ship a little earlier than expected. With this in mind, Spoiler correspondent Ben Baker has compiled a top ten list of the shortest spells in football club history. And guess who tops the list…

Sol Campbell
After a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance at Meadow Lane and a quick team photo, the man whom Spurs fans lovingly refer to as ‘Judas’ picked up his boots and walked out on his £40,000-a-week contract. If he manages to stay fit and win his war with his own metabolism, perhaps a fleeting appearance in the MLS lies ahead for football’s least decisive man..

Ali Dia
A favourite story among football fans who are less than supportive of Graeme Souness (and let’s be honest, there are a fair few): after allegedly receiving a call from former World Footballer of the Year George Weah ‘bigging up’ his ‘cousin’, Souness signed him up without reservation. He even had the audacity to replace Sir Tiss with him. Dia was so dreadful that he was hauled off, lasting about 20 minutes. Oh well, Southampton’s loss was Gateshead’s gain…kind of.

Dietmar Hamann
After it appeared that Hamann was surplus to