Who?

12 hours later, and it still hasn’t been changed. The article isn’t a complete disaster though, as The Spoiler now knows four of the Palacios family have turned out for the Honduran national team at some point the past - an impressive feat not even the legendary Sodje dynasty has managed to accomplish.

What’s the Spanish for desperado?

Ah, isn’t Roberto Martinez a breath of fresh air? Having given an interview in which he complained that everyone in England is running scared of Sir Alex Ferguson, Martinez today boldly stuck to his guns, whipped off his trousers and thrust out his groin in Fergie’s direction denied ever making those comments and scampered away to look for a tree to hide behind.

To read the original interview with the AS newspaper (in Spanish), click here. Meanwhile thespoiler’s Spanish expert has painstakingly translated the entire interview and can confirm the following quotes:

“He (Ferguson) has spent his whole life here and that has weight. Recently he was penalised for saying that a referee wasn’t fit enough and the truth is that they have almost ended up saying sorry to him for fining him. Another person would have been pounded.
Ferguson also has his group of loyal fans among other managers. Steve Bruce, who was his player; Sam Allardyce, who thinks he will be successor at Old Trafford, and others. On the opposite side Benitez is alone and thus gets stick from all sides.”

Deny away Roberto…

Some expert advice for the weekend’s activities from Sporting Index

In case you hadn’t noticed, all the cool kids are making their ritual viewing of Soccer Saturday a little more interesting with the help of spread betting. Our friends at Sporting Index are the go-to-guys for this money making art, and they have kindly provided previews of two of this weekend’s big clashes…

Stoke/ Manchester Utd
The Red Devils follow their derby triumph with a trip to the Britannia Stadium, where the Potters lost just four games last season. The comparisons drawn between Stoke’s home and Burnley’s Turf Moor are extremely welcome to sellers of United’s win index spread, as the Clarets, of course, defeated United there earlier in the season. Spread punters who followed the progress of Tony Pulis’s first top-flight season will remember, however, that United were one of the several clubs to leave the Britannia with three points, thanks only to a late Carlos Tevez goal. Chelsea are the only other member of the Big Four to play there so far this season and also required a last gasp winner. Buyers of the time of the last match goal will hope for a similar spread make-up on Saturday.

Fulham/ Arsenal
Due to their demolition jobs on Everton, Portsmouth and Wigan

More great news for Newcastle’s much-loved owner

Youngsters who hang about at bus stops waiting to earn an ASBO will be devastated to learn that their clothing purveyors of choice - JJB Sports and Sports Direct - are to be investigated by the Serious Fraud Office for price fixing and fraud.

Dave Whelan’s former company and Mike Ashley’s current profit-zapping outfit have been the subject of a secret investigation by the Office of Fair Trading since January. The Guardian’s business eggheads report:

JJB this morning told shareholders that it had sparked the probe with an approach to the OFT just 10 days after the company suspended its former chief executive, Chris Ronnie. It claims to have negotiated immunity in exchange for whistle-blowing co-operation.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

WAG Watch: Gemma Atkinson’s 2010 has arrived
[On205th]

Don’t South American footballers ever get tired of fighting each other?
[Dirty Tackle]

Wigan close in on defensive midfielder Modeste M’Bami
[IMScouting]

Will there be a Robinho/ Thierry Henry switch-a-roo in January?
[Caught Offside]

Slaven Bilic’s latest attempt to gain a psychological edge over England
[Daily Mail]

Why Jermain Defoe will not start on Wednesday
[The Mirror]

What on Earth could have inspired the his change of heart?

Dave Whelan on job hunting Michael Owen, June 17th, 2009:

‘His wages are too expensive, for one thing, and, for another, you have to ask whether he still has the urge, the bottle and the drive.’

Dave Whelan on Manchester Utd employee Michael Owen, August 21st, 2009:

“Signing Michael Owen for Manchester United was a wonderful move by Alex Ferguson.”

We have absolutely no idea why Mr Whelan has changed his mind, but on a completely unrelated note, here’s a story about a Wigan owner’s undying love for a Manchester Utd manager.

The players who won’t make the grade at their new clubs

In the spirit of writing people off at an unreasonably early stage of the season, we asked Spoiler correspondent Joe Thompson to list the top ten newbies who are likely to struggle in 2009/10. Thankfully, he obliged…

Alberto Aquilani
(Roma to Liverpool, £20m)
‘What?! I’ve seen him on YouTube, he’s a maestro! Great vision, long range shooting! Like Gerrard with nice hair!’ True, but he’s also crocked enough to make Darren Anderton look like The Terminator. In all competitions, he’s made 90 starts in five seasons. Look at the YouTube compilations again, he’s got a different haircut in every clip. OK, he’s Italian - it proves nothing- but he doesn’t play much. At £20m, Benitez has taken a massive gamble. By the time he plays it’ll be nearly Christmas, and a crunching (or even soft) tackle away at Stoke or Bolton might mean he’s glad to get back to the comfort of the treatment room.

Ronald Zubar
(Marseille to Wolves, undisclosed)
Very few players are immortalised in a football expression– The ‘Cruyff’ Turn, The ‘Blanco’ Bounce and ‘Zubrelances’. The latter is a term the Marseille faithful coined to describe Zubar’s regular defensive howlers. He’s played for France U-21’s, but then Titus Bramble also played U-21 football when he was clowning around at Newcastle. Mick McCarthy is already ‘pleading for patience’ with his new signing - Wolves fans are going to need it.

Roque Santa Cruz
(Blackburn Rovers to Man City, £17m)
Initially, this looked like a great match. Hughes had long been giving him the eye after re-launching his career

A team of fresh faces who represent excellent value for money

Although the transfer window isn’t locked shut until the end of the month, the brand new Premier League season is but a few hours away. With this in mind, Spoiler correspondent Ben Baker has considered the best buys of the summer so far, compiling a team of his favourites…

Joe Hart
(Manchester City to Birmingham, Season Long Loan)
A transfer that suits both parties. Joe wants to win more senior England caps, and since he has been edged out of the number one spot at Manchester City by a certain Mr. Given, first team opportunities have been lacking. His search for regular football has led him to the Midlands and Birmingham are surely delighted that this promising young English goalkeeper will be between the sticks for the season. Also, you just have to love him for his mental attitude and abrasive shouting when facing a penalty - he’s like a loopier version of Bruce Grobbelaar.

Glen Johnson
(Portsmouth to Liverpool, £17.5m)
Beating off Chelsea and Manchester City and getting one over his rivals would have made this deal extra sweet for the ever-irritated Rafa. Johnson had a superb season last year, both with club and country, epitomised by his man of the match performance against an (albeit woeful) Andorra side that saw him notch up four assists from full back, and will add a whole new dimension to Liverpool’s right side. A high price to pay, but as Rafa said, “Sometimes you have to spend a little bit more.”A sentiment that is particularly true for English players.

Yuri Zhirkov
(CSKA Moscow to Chelsea, £18m)
A Russian at Chelsea? How did that happen? This versatile