Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies

In spite of Thaksin’s Shinawatra’s alleged financial misdemeanours, the sky blue Manchester club still have cash to splash. Having dodged the Ronaldinho bullet, Citeh are reportedly interested in making Henry a “box office” signing come January, whatever that means. The Frenchman, however, has said there is only one English club he will return to, and a non-big four move surely wouldn’t be enough to bring him back from Spain.

Anton Ferdinand to Sunderland
In a summer of painfully protracted transfer sagas, Anton Ferdinand is the latest poor soul to be left wondering where his future lies. Sunderland have been after the centre-half for weeks and assuming that they can convince him that Wearside has a better nightclub than Faces (perhaps this one), the under 21 international will be scurrying off to make friends with Roy Keane.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: The tabloid’s think the Black Cats’ ninth summer signing is a done deal

Wilson Palacios to Liverpool
Rafa is slowly making

As ever, there was no time last night to revel in the joy of a Paul Scholes stonker, because while football is being played, behind the scenes people in dark suits are having business meetings, and those meetings are very important - they include “guesstimates” and “sushi”. Here’s what may or may not have been talked about in some of those sweaty deep-into-the-night think tanks:

Kamel Ghilas to Arsenal
Arsene Wenger’s team of dehydrated football forragers have once again resurfaced in their mining helmets with soil on their faces muttering like crazy people about an Algerian man called Kamel. At the moment he plays casual football for Portuguese side Vitoria Guimaraes, but next season he looks set to be entertaining Arsenal crowds, who love sexual football and Cesc Fabregas.

Antonio Valencia and Wilson Palacios to Manchester United
Yes, Ferguson will be on the hunt for bright young talents, currently dominating other first teams, to strengthen his reserves, and these two might be just the ticket. They do it week in, week out for Wigan, but can they do it perhaps once every three/four months for United when Nani, Anderson, Carrick, Hargreaves, Scholes, Ronaldo, Giggs, O’Shea, and Fletcher are all injured? Or it’s the Carling Cup?