These men just couldn’t stay away…

In the biblical tale of the Prodigal Son, a young man ventures to the big city to fill up on wine and hookers before going home to lead a normal domestic life as an accountant, or something. In some ways, it’s exactly the same tale as that of Shaun Wright-Phillips and Manchester City, only without the fatted calf, the hookers, the wine… the bible. But no matter.

This, along with Heskey’s suspected return to Liverpool, got The Spoiler to thinking, and by the time we’d polished off our lunchtime amuse bouche followed by soup, we’d pretty much compiled a team made up of returning players. All with varying degrees of success.

In goal, we went for everyone’s favourite drug-eating maniac, Mark Bosnich.

You don’t have to be a topless model to be a WAG, but it helps

In 1998, Leilani Dowding was studying for an Economics degree at Royal Holloway University when she realised that she was incredibly good looking, and quite comfortable being photographed without clothing. Naturally, this lead to regular appearances on Page Three of The Sun, and a string of footballer admirers: she dated Dagenham & Redbridge’s Anwar Uddin, former Wimbledon FC man at the back Mark Williams and was engaged to Middlesbrough’s slap-happy forward Jérémie Aliadière.

Cricketer aims to bail out favourite club. Pun intended.

Luton’s financial prayers could be answered by England and Northamptonshire bowler Monty Panesar, who has emerged as a candidate to buy the League Two outfit:

Luton fan Monty Panesar says he will splash the cash on The Hatters if he pockets $1million in cricket’s money-spinning Twenty20 international.

The spinner wants to be in the England side to face a Super Stars XI in Antigua on November 1, organised by mutli-millionaire Sir Allen Stanford.

The club, who start next season with a ten point deduction due to transfer irregularities, were ‘rescued’ from administration by the Luton Town FC 2020 consortium in January. It’s a nice gesture from Luton-born Panesar, but

Manager of abhorred soulless business misses the point

“We have finally created some history for this club which is what we get rammed down our throats every time we play away from home and this is the start of putting this club on the map.”

Paul Ince forgets that MK Dons’ position on the map is the very reason other clubs don’t like them 

[The Guardian Fiver]