Coming to a computer near you

Maybe these figures are the reason why Phil Brown is currently clearing his desk
( Guardian )

Fancy doing a bit of lawnwork at the Molineux. Now is your chance
( Dirty Tackle )

Walcott WAG doing what she does best
( Kickette )

And you thought Ashley was bad - meet the Australian owner who is trying to limit his club’s attendance
( Dirty Tackle )

Aloof, arrogant et al - it’s the Daniel Sturridge story
( The Sun )

Jody Craddock is a dab hand with a brush and pallette

Footballers are blessed with more down time than most, but Xboxes, nightclub prowling and the constant need to purchase unnecessary and grotesque luxury lifestyle products generally prevent them from doing anything remotely constructive. Bucking the trend is Wolves captain Jody Craddock, who spends his time away from the pitch cultivating his artistic side.

These portraits look like photos that have been put through Photoshop filters, but on his official website, Craddock assures us that he produced these in front of a canvas and easel with his own fair hand.

The centre-back has asked Twitter followers to help him name the recently finished painting above, settling on “The Huddle”. Presumably, our idea of “Team Talk That Resulted in a 1-0 Defeat” wouldn’t have gone down so well.

Check out some more of Craddock’s work after the jump…

Stats boffins give Madrid something else to boast about

Lord only knows why it took them nine years to compile it, but today the International Federation of Football History & Statistics (IFFHS) released their list of the top 200 European clubs of the twentieth century.

By awarding a varying scale of points for victories and draws in the Champions League, UEFA Cup and all other European competitions that operated from 1901-2000, the winners were determined to be Real Madrid. They finished ahead of second-placed Juventus by nearly one hundred points, while the most successful English team were Liverpool down in eighth place.

Here’s the top twenty, according to the IFFHS:

1. Real Madrid
2. Juventus
3. FC Barcelona
4. AC Milan
5. Bayern Munich
6. Inter Milan
7. Ajax
8. Liverpool
9. Benfica

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Nilmar to Manchester Utd
The Daily Mirror believe Alex Ferguson is weighing up the merits of a £20m for the Brazilian striker, currently playing at Internacional. He flopped at Lyon a few years ago but has shown great form for his current side, and also in the highly prestigious Confederations Cup tournament.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: At 24, he meets the new Old Trafford age criteria, but Jorge Mendes is said to be brokering the deal. Will Utd want to deal with the man who helped Ronaldo escape to Spain?

Eidur Gudjohnsen back to the Premier League
A number of news agencies are claiming the Icelandic forward will return to English football, with Fulham, West Ham, Aston Villa and Everton said to be in the running.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: He has been told

Anyone game for some vital fixture list statistics?

Now that the Football League and the Premier League have completed the extraordinarily complicated process of compiling next season’s fixtures, it’s time for some fate-bating statistics. And who better to provide them than our trend-spotting chums at chickendinner:

1. The last five newly-promoted teams to kick their season off at home all avoided defeat, which is good news for Wolves who open against West Ham.

2. However, the last four to start away from home have all lost. That doesn’t bode well for Birmingham and Burnley, who start at Manchester Utd and Stoke.

3. Chelsea have won their opening game in each of the last seven seasons and this year they kick-off their campaign at home to Hull.

A chance to get excited months before anything actually happens

Tottenham have finally been granted their wish to kick-off a Premier League campaign at home but Liverpool will be the visitors for their first opener at White Hart Lane since 2004.

Spurs fans can take some comfort though from the fact Arsenal have been given a challenging away game on the opening weekend against Everton.

Wolves are the only promoted side who start at home - against West Ham - and the last five to have done so have avoided defeat. Every new arrival who has opened their campaign on the road over the last three seasons has lost and Birmingham and Burnley face tough trips to Man United and Stoke.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

South Africa’s Bernard Parker enjoys the best miss of his career at the Confederations Cup
[Off The Post]

Internazionale are confident of landing Deco and Ricardo Carvalho
[The Independent]

Cheryl Cole looking good on holiday
[News of the World]

Michael Owen over-estimates himself in a glossy brochure designed for prospective employers
[Pies]

Zlatan Ibrahimovic: yours for a mere €90m
[Sport.co.uk]

Holiday buddies: Djibril Cissé and Samir Nasri in Miami
[Kickette]

Cristiano Ronaldo takes a weight off of Zinedine Zidane’s shoulders
[Goal.com]

Wolves preapre for the Premier League by signing Serbian defensive midfielder Nenad Milijas
[ITV]

Tigers fans climb aboard the booing bandwagon

There were boos ringing out all over the country this weekend as fans of Arsenal, Aston Villa, Newcastle and Wolves took turns to vent their frustration at disappointing results.

The most surprising incident on the booing circuit though, besides Bolton fans neglecting to jeer Gary Megson’s choice of tie or something of an equally trivial nature as he lead them to a third win in four, was that Hull supporters turned on Phil Brown for subbing Geovanni.

The Tigers have taken just two points from eight games since Brown decided it was a good idea to publicly humiliate his players as they trailed 4-0 away to Manchester City on Boxing Day, making them comfortably the worst Premier League team this side of Christmas.

Have the players lost respect for Brown or was the bubble always going to burst? Are the fans fickle for booing the manager who took them up or are they right to be worried by a run of one win in 18? Let us know what you think with a comment below.