That’s right, your eyes did NOT deceive you!

When the Lord God put together the blueprints for Serena Williams, his loyal angels probably thought that was it, this time he really has gone crazy. A statuesque body with a womanly bosom? It can’t be done. Athletes should look like Heike Drechsler - hairy and unappealing - whilst buxom women should be more like Pam Anderson or Sam Fox - aggressively blonde and a bit stupid.

But no, Williams has redefined what it is to look like a herculean athlete, yet still be a buxom gentlewoman. Unfortunately, when she opens her mouth, out comes the strange sound of a Moog keyboard on a bad setting. It’s all in the details, God. All in the details. Speaking of which, here’s why she won’t win Wimbledon…