Fat Brazilian to be replaced by newer model

The chap with the quick feet and strong aversion to passing the ball in the clip above goes by the name Alain Richard Ebwelle. The wunderkind is from Cameroon, and is only 12 years old (!), but he is already being touted by the Spanish giants as the new Ronaldo (the chunky transsexual-hooker-loving one, not the thin regular-hooker-loving one).

Here’s a reminder of how the Brazilian used to terrorise defences: