Let’s hope they kept the receipt…

Weeks after The FA was embroiled in a row over appearing to buy off the FIFA’s executive committee (or at least their wives) with designer handbags, in the hope of securing some votes for England’s World Cup 2018 bid, FIFA vice-prez Jack Warner has decided he doesn’t want his anymore.

The £230 Mulberry bag has been sent back, along with a tear-stained letter claiming it’s brought him nothing but bad press:

Had [my wife] or I known then that the acceptance of what we all felt was a kind gesture would have resulted in the tainting of her character and mine together with the untold embarrassment to which we are still being subjected, none of us would have attended the dinner, nor would she have accepted what we thought was a gift in honour of her birthday [We’ll assume she thought it was in honour of the all the other wives’ birthdays as well - The Spoiler]

I have faced and continue to face all kinds of indignities from all manner of persons, but when these insults touch my wife, it represents an all time low.

Prince William, and some northern children get the bid rolling

While the Germans successfully used Heidi Klum to promote their most recent World Cup bid, England got its 2018 campaign rolling yesterday with the help of David Beckham, Wayne Rooney and that Scottish chap who in temporarily in charge of the country until the next election.

The bid started with a video showing football at grass roots level (see the full version here), and then proceeded with a video message from Prince William and a speech from the PM, in which he failed to properly pronounce the word “football” - see [3.08] in the video above.

The Spoiler has yet to track it down, but apparently the bid video also included footage of the petulant kick that saw David Beckham dismissed in France 98. “It certainly wasn’t my idea,” insisted Mr B.

Other countries in contention for 2018 include Australia, Portugal, Spain, Russia, Holland, Belgium, Mexico and (despite hosting the tournament only thirteen years ago) the USA.

With the biggest and best league in the world, and an infrastructure that can easily cope with the demands of an international tournament, we think it’s high time that football came home again. Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait until December 2010 for a verdict from FIFA.

The home of egg chasing could host international football

Twickenham - referred to as “Twickers” by those who own hampers and chinos - could be used as a World Cup 2018 venue, according to The Daily Mail. England’s 2018 World Cup bid team must submit their detailed bid for the tournament in May 2010, and are said to be interested in using the 82,000 capacity stadium:

Andy Anson, the bid chief executive, and his staff plan to hold what could prove complicated discussions with the Rugby Football Union in the belief that Twickenham could be one of the three London stadiums they present to FIFA’s executive committee.

Holding a major football event at Twickenham would be unprecedented in English rugby, but the 2018 team are, understandably, reluctant to ignore the second biggest stadium in the country.

Of the ten stadiums which will be used in South Africa, three have 70,000+ capacities. At present, just Wembley and Old Trafford can hold this much in England, so it makes sense to include Twickenham in the plan. On the other hand, using three stadiums in the capital may make the tournament a little ‘London-centric’ - just one London stadium was used during Euro 96 (although, to be fair, there were only 16 teams and eight stadiums).

Keith Wyness has mysteriously disappeared into the Mersey night

In December 2004, a few months after Chief Exec of Aberdeen FC Keith Wyness was poached by Everton, the blue side of Mersey reinvigorated their plans to leave Goodison Park for a 50,000 out-of-town stadium complex in Kirkby.

The rotund Scot, who also voiced approval over the 39th Premier League game, was instrumental in the controversial relocation plans, but last night he caught Everton off guard and handed in his resignation. Obviously still in shock, the Toffees’ official site was only capable of mustering a single sentence on the subject:

Everton Football Club wishes to announce that Keith Wyness has resigned his position as Chief Executive Officer and director of the Club.

Many fans fear that his resignation indicates the plush Kirkby stadium, which could be used in the World Cup 2018 (should we be chosen to host), will no longer happen. Others who have been speculating on Everton’s deathly silence in the transfer market and who support the ‘Keep Everton In Our City’ will no doubt be delighted that Wyness has waddled off into the sunset.