All of today’s transfer gossip, rumours and damn lies

Before Euro 2008, Manchester City and Everton were leading the chase for the fashion student/amazing footballer. Unfortunately he revealed himself to be world class and now looks like making a dream move to Barcelona, who have made a formal approach. His agent claims there have already been five offers for his signature, and the price being bandied around is currently £10m.

The Ronaldo saga latest
He may be acting like a spoilt brat, but Ronaldo is a man of principle. Accordingly, he has kindly agreed to pay Manchester Utd the courtesy of showing up for pre-season training in exchange for his £120,000-a-week wages.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Come on papers, try harder than this to find a story

Peter Crouch to Arsenal
The Daily Mirror have been doing their homework and decided that Arsene Wenger, famous for his cautiousness with money, will match the eight-figure valuation for a benchwarmer at a club they finished above.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Unconvinced

Or…Crouch and Yossi Benayoun to Tottenham
Slightly more convincing than the Arsenal story,

Today’s transfer gossip, as made up by the national press

When he isn’t pissing off Liverpool, growing face art or aggravating wealthy Americans, Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez enjoys nothing more than having kitchenware modelled on the shape of his cranium. The image above is from Wikipedia, so it must be true - much like the following speculation from sports desks around the country:

Yossi Benayoun to Everton
Twelve months ago Benayoun pledged to sign a new deal at West Ham before mysteriously being provoked into a change of heart. It looks like he’s fed up at Anfield now, but is he bored of Merseyside?

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Everton call it “fantasy”, we’re not so sure either

James Milner to Liverpool
Aston Villa want Milner, but because they’re not letting Liverpool steal Gareth Barry without a fight, Benitez is pretending he wants Milner to hike his price up. Rafa, you big bully.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Could be the next Jermaine Pennant

Emmanuel Adebayor to AC Milan
The Italian press say Adebayor has told Arsenal he wants to leave. Can you blame him? After all he scored 30 goals this season and still failed to win over certain factions of the Gunners faithful.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Believes he’ll stay put

Kaka to Chelsea
Do the maths. Brazilian managers must sign the best Brazilian players, right? Scolari played